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Posted By: guest

Posted On: Apr 9, 2006
Views: 671
Once, when I was a caddy...

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.


Posted By: banguests

Posted On: Apr 10, 2006
Views: 645
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

Drop acid often?


Posted By: adam

Posted On: Apr 10, 2006
Views: 642
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

that is the best story ever, i wish i could romp the fields of tibet with the dalai lama. I spent alot of time in the mountains of tibet with monks who put their fingers in my bum....that is how i have grown to be so wise in the art of poo


Posted By: Wes

Posted On: Apr 10, 2006
Views: 630
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

sounds more like a shroom trip


Posted By: Carl Spackler

Posted On: Apr 10, 2006
Views: 622
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

Not shrooms, I think it's a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff


Posted By: Nougat

Posted On: Apr 10, 2006
Views: 614
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

Forgive me for not interpreting sarcasm correctly (if that's the case) --

Have none of you seen Caddyshack?


Posted By: Carl Spackler

Posted On: Apr 10, 2006
Views: 605
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

I have.

What an incredible Cinderella story, this unknown comes outta no where to lead the pack, at Augusta. He's on his final hole, he's about 455 yards away - he's gonna hit about a two-iron I think. Oh he got all of that one! The crowd is standing on its feet here, the normally reserved Augusta crowd - going wild - for this young Cinderella, he's come outta no where, he's got about 350 yards left, he's gonna hit about a five-iron, don't you think? He's got a beautiful backswing - that's - Oh he got all of that one! He's gotta be pleased with that, the crowd is just on its feet here, uh - He's the Cinderella boy, uh - tears in his eyes I guess as he lines up this last shot, he's got about 195 yards left, he's got about a - its looks like he's got about an eight-iron. This crowd has gone deathly silent, the Cinderella story, outta no where, a former greenskeeper now - about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac - It's in the Hole!


Posted By: bible boy

Posted On: Apr 10, 2006
Views: 602
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

in other words...

What an incredible Cinderella story, this unknown blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah . It looks like a mirac - It's in the Hole!


Posted By: Carl Spackler

Posted On: Apr 10, 2006
Views: 593
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days.


Posted By: foe

Posted On: Apr 10, 2006
Views: 581
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

why don't you go spackle a hot carl on your mothers vagina and get back to me when you stop crawling around in it like an animal


Posted By: Carl Spackler

Posted On: Apr 11, 2006
Views: 577
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

I'll slack you off, you fuzzy little foreigner.


Posted By: Carl Spackler

Posted On: Apr 12, 2006
Views: 544
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think


Posted By: Bob Gakley

Posted On: Apr 13, 2006
Views: 529
RE: Once, when I was a caddy...

Carl...wtf is wrong with you? Varmint poontang? I bet you like that varmint poontang. You seem like a varmint poontang kind of guy.


 

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