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Posted By: Steve B

Posted On: Feb 20, 2020
Views: 55
Queer

An interesting poll with great answers.  Thanks for posting it  Yes I am the person who asked the initial question after reading an article in the Toronto Star.  It seems that the answer to the question "Is 'queer' an acceptable word in today's lexicon" has different responses depending on one's demographic.  Those of us who grew up in the 50s and 60s and were pelted with negativity and had to endure being called "queer", "faggot", "Nancy boy" or "pufter" (the last two are I think mainly British/Australian) recoil from the use of that term.  However, in modern days (I guess I am an antique - a construction of history) the term has come to mean something different and has been re-invented and taken ownership by our own community.  To be "queer" nowadays seems to signify a pride in being outside heteronormative society.  There are those who pride themselves on being "queer".  It is no longer a stigma, but a badge of pride.  I guess it is something like the "n" word used by African Americans/Canadians - mostly in the younger culture.  Consequently I would never refer to an African-Canadian with the "n" word. Therefore, I would be repulsed by a non-LGBTQ+ person referring to me or a member of my community as "queer".  Online you do see "homo", "pufter", "faggot", etc.  But not in polite company.  Only those who want to "get to you".  So, while I won't use the term "queer" myself, I can accept it when certain others use it.  I am a senior, middle class, white, cisgender, gay married man.  This is the life I have chosen (well not the gay part, but I wouldn't have it any other way).  When I see young men wearing make-up, dressed in endogenous clothing, acting in ways that I couldn't or wouldn't, and calling themselves queer, I say all the more power to them.  But I am who I am, the product of my generation.  So I'm getting used to the use of "queer" by "queers".  Language is a living thing after all and changes as society changes. 

Thank you Ted for raising the question publicly.  I've learned a lot as usual.


Posted By: Gene Canales

Posted On: Feb 20, 2020
Views: 54
Queer

Ray
I congratulate you on your thoughts and understand and respect your feelings on the subject. Thanks for sharing.
I myself have been called derogatory names in the past even up to just a few years ago. I actually still cringe at the word faggot, but queer literally means strange or unusual and I can embrace my differences and be happy.
Gene


Posted By: Robert Paquette

Posted On: Feb 20, 2020
Views: 52
Queer

I don't judge how others choose to call themselves. I, however, do not use it. I find that over the past years, Gays and Lesbians have been reduced to a footnote in the arena because of the broadening of the identity to include those of alternative genders.I have nothing against them but, for me, it is all about sexual orientation and the impact of that on my culture and identity, not about my gender identity.


Posted By: JR

Posted On: Feb 20, 2020
Views: 52
Queer

Matter of context: people and situations. 'Know your audience.' When people are familiar to each other, they know the use of some words are acceptable, from swear words to others eg fruit, even c-ck-s-cker, but not to those who might be offended. I know some blacks use the n-word with each other, and some guys tell each other to f-off, but not to the public.


Posted By: Julian White

Posted On: Feb 20, 2020
Views: 50
Queer Duck

I'm not sure that faggot/fag isn't as unpleasant as most of the pejorative labels that might be used - but there is a local disturbed vagrant who sometimes bursts out with a random 'faggot' call and that disturbs me less than 'queer!' would... Given the limited choice I prefer 'gay' - certaainly better than someof the other potential labels that might be used.


Posted By: Lane

Posted On: Feb 20, 2020
Views: 50
Queer as Folk

I don't think the poll is presenting all of the options. Queer in its best, most useful sense, is broader than homosexual. It covers homosexuals, PLUS transgender people, plus intersex people, plus asexual people. I like having a term that covers all sex AND gender non "conforming" folk.

So if I had the option, I'd say I prefer Queer to mean any LGBT+ person, and not just homosexuals like us!


Posted By: Lane (from his post)

Posted On: Feb 20, 2020
Views: 49
Queer as Folk 2

Like you, Ted, I remember when "queer" was just an insult.  I like the evolution of word "queer" to stand in for the whole variety of "non-hetero or gender non-conforming" people.  Gay/Lesbian has to do with sexual practice and preference - who you see yourself *with*.  Gender on-conformity relates to how you feel inside about who you are - who you see yourself *as*.  They're very different concepts that the straight world doesn't always recognize.  And then there are intersex people who are biologically ambiguous sexually.  You can be bio-male and gay (like me, and most of us here, probably), but you can be trans and gay, or trans and hetero, or any of the above and asexual.  Queer is now being used to cover us all, which I like.  I very much don't like it when trans people get classified as gay - they may or may not be.  I also really don't like it when artificial walls get built between different kinds of queer, so I'm glad there's a word that applies to us all.


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