| SORA'S DIGIMON PALACE - SDP'S POLL -> Hello, and Good-bye | Start A New Topic | Reply |
| Post Info | TOPIC: Hello, and Good-bye |
| Posted By: Leeca Posted On: Sep 19, 2002 Views: 118 | Hello, and Good-bye Gosh. Ever since I've come back, all I've created is anger. I've made everyone leave and I'm sooooooo sorry. I should just leave. I'm sorry Tai for hurting you in any way, and for leaving. I'm sorry Kelly for not being a good friend. I'm sorry Denis for not living up to a friend for you. I'm sorry for everyone else whom I've offended. And, if he's still willing to listen to me, I'm sorry Henry. Bye. |
| Posted By: Denis Smith Posted On: Sep 19, 2002 Views: 116 | RE: Hello, and Good-bye Hey Leeca. It's Denis. 'm a little surprised by your actions but I am not hurt or angery with you. You don't have to respond to this message but please read it. I don't really know what happened with the others and that's not important. If you made mistakes and hurt someones feelings that's alright. It's a part of being human. I don't know how old you are or whats going on inyour life(and if I am totally off the wall then you can laugh at me and go on about how I should write those sappy after school specials)but I sucsept that you are going through the early stages of adolescence. This stage of human development is the third most dangerous time in the human life span. More people die here than at any other time in their lives. Only people over seventy-five and infants are more vulerenable. There are many reasons for this. Adolescents get to have new freedoms like driving catrs and going out on dates, but they also get greater access to alochol and durgs. Traffic accidents are the leading cause of death in adolescents in Canada and the United States. The second leading cause of death in Canada for adolescents is suicide. If you don't believe me look to up on the Canadian government's website www.statscan.gc.ca There are many reasons for suicide to be so high. (It might be the highest, how many of those car accidents were not accidents?)One reason is because your body is changing. Yeah okay we all know that you grow taller boys get hairy, deep voiced, broad sholdered and turn into smelly jerks. (I'm a guy trust me I know and my brother is worse than I am)Girls grow breasts, hips widen and have to start useing hygene products i don't want to talk about. On top of this the other sex suddenly becomes more interestering (i.e. catching cooties becomes a good thing) So now you have all of these new volitile chemicals rushing through your blood stream effecting the way you think and feel. There is no way to stop this. Suddenly your own body is out of control and that is scary. People like stability but you are going through as many changes as an infant does to become a child. Worse other people might decide to make fun of the changes in your body, or touch you in ways you don't like. In a survey 100% of the girls and 99% of the boys graduating high school in Canada admit being toughed in a sexual or physical way they did not like. But the major changes occur in the brain. The forward part of the brain is the center of moral judgement amoung other thing and until the age of 18-19 it is not fully developed. Durning this time period people are not children and they are not adults but most of society expects adolescents to be one or the other. Adolescents also think in a way that is unique to their age group. They are self-centered (cann't be helped so don't worry about it), they have a feeling of immortality, for example you might know about AIDS and pregnancy but think it won't happen to you (young adults 20-30 like myself are also guilty of thinking we are immortal)adolescents also think everyone is watching them and that everyone is talking about you behind your back (I concide that they might be but other adolsecents are too self-absorbed to worry about you, the reason I c9nside this point is because I once thought that a group of people were plotting against me and it ended up they really were)the thinking of adolescents is also highly idealistic adolescents believe in fairness justice and doing what is right much more strongly than any other member of society (this gives rise to many conflicts with parents and other adults). On top of this adolescence have a strong NEED to form peer groups. Part of forming groups is keeping other people out and if you are one of the people being left out then you can become depressed and suicidal. I know this from first hand experience. Half way through grade five I changed schools and I had a hard time making new friends. When I went into junior high I still had very few friends from grade 5 and 6 on top of this the old elementary school I went to came to this junior high my old friends decided I had betrayed them some how and would not be friends with me either. The reason I left the old school was because the principle and my teacher was abusive towards his students and I was becoming depressed. I would cry for no reason and if people did something nice for me or said nice things about me I felt so guilty about it I would cry and sometimes get sick. For example on my tenth birthday my mother made me a cake and got a big number ten candle and she had also gotten a paper center piece with the muppets on it saying happy birhtday. It probably cost her less than five dollars and took five minutes to assemble but when she showed it to me, hoping that I would feel special and enjoy it, I started crying. THe reason I was crying was because I felt I did not deserve having all of this effort placed onto me on my birthday. Between nine and ten is the real beginnings of adolescence not 13 or 14. So I was in pretty rough shape going into jouner (I'm dyslexic so sorry about the spelling) high. and for the record Jounier high is officially the worst time of a person's life. If you don't think its horrible then there is something wrong. In grade seven and eight I spent most of my time avoiding the bullys and wishing I didn't have pimples. In grade nine there was a girl I thought liked me. She would grap my butt and run her fingures through my hair. I fell in love with her because I thought that this ment she liked me and that made me feel special. Also having a girl do this to me made my look really cool in front of the guys I hung out with. She didn't like me. I guess this was a big joke to manipulate my feelings. When I asked her out she stopped talking to me and she and other girls made fun of me. This isolated me from a large part of the school population. I felt really alown and isolated. I began to feel the same way I did when I was ten that I wasn't worth five dollars. I began to think about killing myself. One day I took the shot gun and pulled the trigger. The gun was empty but it might not have been. Later that night my mother wanted to know what was wrong. I didn't tell her because I was to humiliated about what this girl had done to me. I thought that she would be mad at me or disapointed in me but the fact that she had taken this time made me feel better so I'm still alive today. The next year I moved to a new school and metsome really cool people who I'm still friends with today. So Leeca (and anyone else reading this) if you fell the way I did please remember you are not alone. Don't make the same mistake I did and not talk to people about your problems. Even if you can't express your feelings or you are not sure what is bothering you please tell someone you can trust. Even if all you can say is 'I feel sad and I'm not sure why' will help. A constant feeling of sadness is depression and it is a terrible thing to feel. I hope this makes you feel better not confused. Please don't feel you are not worth it you are. You are a beatiful person, and I don't mean physically because I have never seen you, I mean you have a beautiful soul. If you didn't you would not have felt bad about hurting Kelly's Henery's Tai's and my feelings. There are many horribly ugly people out there who would not give a second thought about any of our feelings and you are defently not one of those people. In regards to Henery, Kelly, and Tai I don't know what to say about them but don't worry about me I'll be okay. Just take care of yourself and I'll be okay. :) Denis |
| Posted By: Kelly Posted On: Sep 19, 2002 Views: 113 | RE: Hello, and Good-bye What on earth are you talking about!? |
| Posted By: Denis Smith Posted On: Sep 23, 2002 Views: 110 | RE: Hello, and Good-bye Hopefully nothing. |
| Posted By: Denis Smith Posted On: Oct 22, 2002 Views: 103 | RE: Hello, and Good-bye Hi, I guess I should try to explain what I had written above. First when I read Lecca's origional message I thought she sounded really sad and I was afraid she was going to hurt herself. When I was a bit younger I had thought that I should take my own life because I was suffering from adolesent depression ie growing pains. I did not do this and my life has gotten much better. I was trying to tell Leeca that her feeling this way was natural but not to hurt herself. Also I now think that I have projected my feelings onto Lecca's message and I over reacted. I hope this is the case. Secondly I realize that my past expericences caused me to be highly negative when discussing adolesence. The way I described it makes it sound horrible; however while it's true my personal expericences were bad that does not mean everyones will be. I am sorry if I upset you. Thirdly, Kelly when I wrote 'hopefully nothing' I ment to say that I hope I was just panicing and over reacted to Lecca's message I hope this explination is better. If this still confuses people then do not read anything I write unless I am specifically talking about Digimon (the origional reason I came to this website). |