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| Posted By: hiccup Posted On: Dec 5, 2003 Views: 474 | im sorry im really confused i kinda feel like im going mad. i used to just sit their and scratch my arm like a nervous reaction but then that wasnt realy good enough. i never really had much **** in my life, i started when my best mate o.d on paractetamol but i kno tht she didnt really want to die and though it hurt i dont think its why i started. i think it was just the final straw. i hate it when people try to understand me because i dont understand me at all and so how can they. i do want to stop but everytime i nearly do and then ijust do it again and im back to where i started. my sister tries to help me, she gave me her diary from wen she was anorexic but i didnt want to read it. noone can help me its something i have to do my self but at least i do want to stop. its just not tht easy, its like an addiction. when i feel down it just seems like the right thing to do. when i hurt outside i just stop hurting inside. i can just concentrate on the pain. i really dont understand why i do it, i just do. im on anti-depressants now, but i dont understand how a pill can take away these feelings. its like i just want somebody to explain it. i need to understand. |