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Posted By: Pris

Posted On: Feb 21, 2004
Views: 860
My Grand Daughter

I just found out a few days ago my 16 yr. old grand daughter is cutting herself. I so dont know what to do. My heart is broken into a million pieces. She and I have talked and she said it started when she was in the 8th grade. So, for two years this has been going on and I just need advice on how to approach her parents. Alot of turmoil going on in their home. The youngest in home is almost 15. He is in alof of trouble himself but not this sort. Please give me advice as to what to do and why do these children do this. In Christs love....P


Posted By: sami

Posted On: Mar 23, 2004
Views: 852
RE: My Grand Daughter

hello...

I am not in the same position that you are in right now. actually, i am in the same position as ur granddaugter. i am 15, and i have been cutting myself since i was in the sixth grade. when i started, it was not because of depression. i did this out of anger to begin with, but after about 6 months i became more and more depresed about my habit everyday. feeling so dumb for even thinking about this made everything worse. i started cutting myself almost twice a day. soon enough i was covered in scars and i felt even worse now about my self appearance. but back to the point of this letter.... ur granddaughter is obviously under a lot of pressure and or stress in life right now. you say that she is having a lot of trouble at home with her family, and this is probably the main cause of her distress. this situation is VERY common. it is a very delicate situation when you want to approach her or her family. if her family isnt already aware of her condition, they may refuse to believe you. i know what this is like. my aunt was the first to know and when she told me parents they bannerd her from my house because they didnt want to hear about it at all. they didnt think that it was possible, i was there daughter... i wasnt depressed... was i? but i was. when i told them they didnt talk to me for about 4 days, but they finally got the courage to talk to me about my problem. talking to them was akward and very uncomfortable but it wasa big help. just make sure that u put the parents in a situation that they cant get out of it by completely denying it. but one thing to know is that u need to approach their daughter first, this is a good idea only because if she agrees to tell them with you, they will believe it and they cant just ignore it. the best thing you can do for her is ASK ur granddaughter, if she would see a therapist. dont TELL her she has to... this only makes it worse. this is all the advice that i can think of at the moment. but if u have anymore questions you would like to ask me feel free to e-mail me at the given address.



Posted By: michelle

Posted On: Apr 5, 2004
Views: 836
RE: My Grand Daughter

Hi,
Im in the same position.Im having alot of pressure in my life and most of the time all I can think about is cutting.I go to my friends just crying because I cant handle it any more.Well they kept on telling me I should go to the school counselor so after I got really depressed I went to her.I told her I didnt want her to call my parents but she did anyway.I have to emit I was very scared of her calling my parents but when I got home it was ok my parents understood where I was coming from.After awile they decided to get me some real help so now im going to see a real counselor.I can asure you that it will be ok.Go ahead and tell her parents because the longer you wait the worse it will get.And if you wait long enough she might just take her life and I know you don't want that.

GOOD LUCK!!


Posted By: gina

Posted On: Apr 11, 2004
Views: 829
RE: My Grand Daughter

hiya,
i'm in the same situation ur granddaughter is, i am currently 17 and i have been self harming for 4 years. i have tried to stop so many times but i find it very hard and i get very depressed. alot of peole tell me to talk to them but after i have this makes me feel more depressed i know it doesn't make alot of sense but some times people dont want to talk and you shouldn't pressure them they will talk when they are ready i always do. when my mum found our she tricked me in to seeing the doctor, big mistake, whilst i was sat there the doctor got out a huge file and in big letters down the side of it said MENTAL DISORDERS i have never felt so depressed and like a freak in my life. i felt like a total stranger was sat there judging me for what i had done. but he knew nothing about me how could he judge me this made me so confused and angry i cut myself all over my body that night because some body hade pressured me in to talking, please dont do this to your granddaughter you will only push her away, just tell her you are conserned and tell her you are there for her when ever she needs anyone just be supportive and tell her you understand even if you do not, my mum did this and i have never felt closer to her, i'm gradually stopping cutting myself and this was all because some body close to me believed in me and supported me even though she did not understand. be worried about your granddaugter and watch her but do not pressure her you will just make things worse.
i really hope that i have help you in some way.
tell your granddaughter from me that she is not alone and she is not strange for doing this. she doesn't need professional help just someone to love her, be that person.

hope u get through this
from gina, england


Posted By: Brittany

Posted On: May 7, 2004
Views: 818
RE: My Grand Daughter

It's best for all of you to sit down and talk about this. Just don't be stratight forward about it break it to them slowy. It's really hard to take. I was 16 when I fianlly told someone. I still reamber that day like no other. I'm in your granddaughters positon and the best thing to be there for her. Be very open and talk when she needs it.


Posted By: Desi

Posted On: May 10, 2004
Views: 816
RE: My Grand Daughter

I have been cutting for about 4 to 5 years so I can really relate to where your grandaughter is coming from. I started after my mom moved me away from my dad. Your Grandaughter is simply looking to get all the hurt and pain out.I have not cut in almost 2 months but I know that in a moment of weekness I could mess that all up. You need to support and love your grandaughter and tell her that you love her and that you understand and that you will be there. in my oppinion telling her parients will do no good it will only give her insentive to hate, and distrust you.


 

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