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| Posted By: Mandy Posted On: Apr 15, 2003 Views: 864 | Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be I was with a guy, madly in love, until I found out he is a pathological liar. I am not exagerating. He had 2 other women on the side, and then I found out I was pregnant. He swore he'd change, I believed him, only to find out now that he's been lying ever since. I'm 16 weeks pregnant, and trying to avoid him. He ignores me for weeks, until it's convenient for him to "check on me". I don't want him involved, he has no job, a criminal record, several manic depressive disorders, and I'm scared that he will come around when I have the baby. I don't want to go through this alone, but I'd rather be alone than with someone like him. |
| Posted By: Emily Posted On: May 21, 2003 Views: 862 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be I know how you feel on this one. I'm 18 weeks pregnant and it was only a few days ago that I got out of an abusive relationship with the father of my baby. I moved back to my Dad's and ever since he has stalked me and all of my family and friends at work and at home. When I was still with him he either couldn't or wouldn't hold a job, and was more concerned with having his drug money than if I had groceries. He even started to be physically abusive to me after I became pregnant. And now, even with all that He is still doing to me and my family, I still have to deal with feelings of lonliness because sometimes I actually miss him. Of course I have to tell myself that it's not really him that I miss. I miss what I wanted him to be. Still, I found myself wondering how I would re-adjust to sleeping alone and other things of that nature. The only thing that keeps me hanging on is my baby. He\She is not here yet, but I already have to do what is best for the baby. I just keep telling myself that even if I did want to stay with him, life isn't about what I want anymore. I have more than just me to think about now. It kindof warmed my heart to know that there's someone else out there who knows a little bit about how I am feeling. With hope, Emily |
| Posted By: Jennifer Posted On: Sep 3, 2003 Views: 841 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be I am six months pregnant and just separated from my husband of 8 mths. I too, was warmed to read about similar situations to my own. Over the last 3 months I have found out numerous depressing and dangerous things from my husband. He too, has a criminal past and has decided he does not want to leave it behind, along with trying to manipulate me into allowing him to sleep with other women. His temper has become out of control and I needed to get off the roller coaster for my unborn baby, the 6 yr old angel I have from a previous marriage, and myself. I also am trying to adjust to the lonliness and the loss of the dream I thought I had obtained. I feel overwhelmed but know I will make it through. God bless and best wishes. |
| Posted By: Angela Posted On: May 7, 2004 Views: 801 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be Wow! I'm glad I came accross this site. Nice to know I'm not the only one out there. I'm divorced with a 8 year old and I'm almost 16 weeks with the pregnancy. My ex boyfriend whom I fell maddly in love with and he moved in with me had a past I never new about until I found out through a garnishment of wages that the man I shared my home and life with had a horrible past. He was married and has two kids he never told me about that he owes alot of back child support on and he was married before too. I looked up his ex and talked to her a long time and found out alot of things that disturbed me. He was at working as a bartender and still does so I had plenty of time to investigate and go through all his stuff mainly his car. The stuff I found in there was naked pictures of girls he was or apparently just had sex with and alot of sex lotions and some toys. I was disgusted and felt betrayed. I knew he had a few DUIs and he was tryingto get his life straight because he "loved" me. I confronted him with this and he threw me into a wall and then begged me to come back I did and got pregnant no more than a month later. He stayed a while after I told him and then he decided to stay out with my car after work and never came home. So I packed his stuff and threw him out. He called me and told me I ruined his life by having the baby. Come to find out he was in prison for drug trafficking and still does drugs. All the signs were there but I never seen it so it didn't dawn on me until a few days ago after he texted me that his mom and him wish my baby would die. I supported him and paid for his cell on my plan which I shut off after that. Now he calls all sweet wondering why I'd do a horrible thing and leave him with out a phone. He's also goingto be on house arrest the day of my ultrasound. He'll be that way almost until the baby is born. I haven't a clue as to where he lives and realized myself and my kids are more important than an abusive druggy with an alcohol problem. |
| Posted By: Deb Posted On: Sep 26, 2004 Views: 771 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be I was glad to find this sight. I was beginning to feel like such an outcast. I am divorced and have a 4 year old daughter. I am 17 weeks pregnant by my ex husband. I dont want to get back together just because of this. Sometimes, I get scared thinking I have to do this all alone but even when I was with him, I was still alone. He drinks and smokes pot heavily. He is 43 and will never change. He is a great financial provider but sucks in the emotional department! I get lonely too and think that I will never meet somebody in this situation. Its hard when I go to the dr's office and all the other husbands are sitting there with their wives. |
| Posted By: Mandy Posted On: Sep 27, 2004 Views: 768 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be I remember those dr's appts... I also went to Lamaze class - with my mom... that was awful! We actually had a good time, but it was totally awkward. Feel free to e-mail me any time... my dd is almost 1 year old, and I have managed to do pretty well emotionally, with a lot of support from family and friends. It's always nice to know that someone else can relate |
| Posted By: Pamela Posted On: Sep 28, 2004 Views: 766 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be I am 15 weeks pregnant and I am also completely alone. My ex and I were together for 2 years, he is divorced and has two kids from his previous marriage. I knew he didn't want to have more children but, life happens. When I found out I was pregnant he told me he would be here for me through anything and that he loved me but as the weeks went by and family and friends started finding out, he became more and more distant. About three weeks ago he started going out nights and just not coming home. He began hiding his cell phone from me and when I confronted him he told me that me and the baby have ruined his life. The aweful things he said convinced me that it was in my childs best interest to leave and not go back. But, it is so so hard to be pregnant and alone. I sincerely hope you all have safe and happy babies. Good Luck. |
| Posted By: mandy Posted On: Sep 28, 2004 Views: 764 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be wow... I totally know that feeling. You will be ok. Is this your first baby? How is your family? Are they supportive? I was lucky in that way. Some times, one parent is better than 2 who can't co-exist. I wish you all the best! |
| Posted By: Pamela Posted On: Sep 29, 2004 Views: 762 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be This is my first pregnancy which contributes to my fears and worries. Thankfully my family is very supportive but, it's still difficult going to the Dr.'s office alone and seeing my ultrasound by myself. The worst part is the father already has two kids so he knows what he is missing and just decides not to be a part of it. Also, because we were together for a few years I feel like I've lost my whole family, not only the person I love but, two kids I love as well. I hope we all get through this safe and sound. I know we will be better people doing it alone. |
| Posted By: mandy Posted On: Sep 29, 2004 Views: 760 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be Poor thing. E-mail me, if you want. jaralee10@aol.com I've been there... it is really hard, but it helps to know others are in similar situations. Also, check out sistersofbreastfeeding.com You don't HAVE to be a breastfeeding mom to join, it just kind of started that way. It is a great group of really amazing women. One of my best friends started it, and it's grown into something really great. They are so supportive, and we have a lot of fun too. |
| Posted By: Kristy Posted On: Oct 22, 2004 Views: 751 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be I'm 23 weeks pregnant and the father at first acted like he was so excited. Then, he started working until really late at night and would always call me with some lame excuse. But you know what the sad thing is... his job needs daylight! We didn't talk for awhile after that and I got some test results back the other day and I was really scared. I called him and left a message for him to call me. He called me back and acted like a jerk! He was like so... whats up? I told him the sono. results came back abnormal and he cut me off and started talking. Then, he said is the baby ok? I told him just listen to me and I'll tell you whats going on. He said F U and hung up! Stinkin jerk!!! This was after he said he was going to take my baby from me declaring, "money talks and bulls^^t walks!" How in the heck is he going to do that? He has a very bad criminal record and he's on drugs! We went out for two years I dont see why this is happening and how rude and hatefull he can be when I'm pregnant. I'm glad that I found this site... I thought I was one of the only ones. Sorry this is such a long post.... I just needed to rant. |
| Posted By: Mandy Posted On: Oct 23, 2004 Views: 747 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be I totally know where you are coming from. I hope your fears have subsided some regarding your sonogram. I had a similar situation with a car accident. I was hit head on at 29 weeks pregnant, and had to be admitted to the hospital for fetal monitoring for a minimum of 6 hours. I called "sperm doner" and he didn't even acknowledge the situation. Men can be such ass holes. If your situation is anything else like mine, you will find peace. I finally have some, he is not at all involved, and it ended up being his decision. Feel free to email me any time... I know how you're feeling, and it sucks... P.s. no post is too long!! lol |
| Posted By: Jennifer 2 Posted On: Nov 8, 2004 Views: 742 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be I am 12 weeks pregnant, and my story is long and involved. I was married this past June, but soon found married life, especially with my husband to be less than desireable. I decided to leave after only 7 weeks. I immediately started dating someone from the graduate school I attend. Within 3 weeks I began to regret my decision but felt it was too late to turn back, and besides, maybe I would change my mind the second I got back. Well, 3 or 4 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. It was the new guy. However, I am still working on the divorce. This is a mess because I still love my husband desperately, and have grown to resent and despise the man who ended up coming between us, my baby's father. It is hard to carry the child of someone you hate. It is hard knowing now that your husband would have taken you back had the pregnancy not happened. Its hard having to see this hated man at school everyday. Its hard knowing that he is pressing to be in the child's life and know every detail about the pregnancy. I am so angry and hurt and scared. I feel like I will never be happy again. I love my baby so much and could never give her/him up. I just don't know how to be okay with my situation. I have a good support system, but I can't get over the loss of my husband, and I can't forgive myself for leaving and getting myself in this situation. Any suggestions or words? Thanks, Jennifer |
| Posted By: monique Posted On: Nov 26, 2004 Views: 739 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be i've been reading these emails. gosh it's amazing to see that i'm not the only one who has had to go through just about the same thing as some of you guys had to deal with. even though i had my son four months ago, the painful memories of what my ex did and said to me are still fresh. each time he comes around it's like throwing salt on an open wound. i can't stand the guy. it's even worse when he came to pick up my son and he had a girl with him. i almost think he did it delibrately. if there is any one with some words of advice or to hear my story i could really use it especially now that i am faced with my baby's daddy wanting to have full custody of my son. |
| Posted By: Jennifer 2 Posted On: Nov 26, 2004 Views: 737 | RE: Father wants to be involved, but shouldn't be Monique, I would love to hear the rest of your story. I am sorry that you are in a bad situation too. Mine is beginning to get better as I realize that I really didn't want to be with my ex-husband, I was just scared. What state do you live in? There are many states that would never never take a baby away from its mother no matter what. As long as you do not do drugs or endanger your baby's life regularly, it should not be difficult to hang on to primary custody. Take care, and keep hope. Jennifer |
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