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Posted By: Scrooge

Posted On: Dec 20, 2004
Views: 305
Bah Humbug

I took first spot too keep you little bastards from coming here singing Christmas carols.


Posted By: nicoblue

Posted On: Dec 20, 2004
Views: 289
RE: Bah Humbug

OOOOHHH Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle ALLLLL THE WAAAAAYYY!!!!!


Posted By: Buff-ay

Posted On: Dec 20, 2004
Views: 285
RE: Bah Humbug

Jingle Bells Bat Man smells Robin laid an egg....


Posted By: GirlUWant

Posted On: Dec 20, 2004
Views: 276
RE: Bah Humbug

We wish you a Merry Christmas,
We wish you a Merry Christmas,
We wish you a Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year!

Good tidings we bring to you and your kin,
Good tidings of Christmas and a Happy New Year!


Posted By: The Almighty Doer of Stuff

Posted On: Dec 20, 2004
Views: 259
RE: Bah Humbug

Here's one I wrote. It's called "Santa Claus, Please Remove It Now".

Oh, Santa Claus brings presents
It should be lots of fun
He brings dolls and games and candy
But not to everyone

I got a bag of toenail clippings
And a severed monkey head
He put my hand in warm water
And made me wet the bed

Santa Claus, please remove it now
I just don't want it there
Why couldn't you bring me a sweater
Or a cuddly teddy bear?

He put viruses on my computer
Filled the refridgerator with bugs
He built a snowman in my living room
It's melting into the rug

Santa Claus, please remove it now
I just don't want it there
Why couldn't you bring me a sweater
Or a cuddly teddy bear?

He stuffed my stocking with reindeer poop
He lit the tree on fire
He wrote on my head in permanent marker
"Big Dumb Moron For Hire!"

Santa Claus, please remove it now
I just don't want it there
Why couldn't you bring me a sweater
Or a cuddly teddy bear?

My dog got an even worse gift
He didn't see Santa's long hard growth
Until he shoved it through his rectum
And it came right out his mouth

Santa Claus, please remove it now
I just don't want it there
Why couldn't you bring me a sweater
Or a cuddly teddy bear?

Santa Claus, please go home now
I just don't want you here
Go back to the North Pole
And don't come back next year


Posted By: Dorky Dork

Posted On: Dec 20, 2004
Views: 258
RE: Bah Humbug

Sleigh bells ring
Are you listnin'
In the lane snow is glistlin'
A beautiful site
We're happy tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland!


Posted By: kkk

Posted On: Dec 20, 2004
Views: 235
RE: Bah Humbug

idiot


Posted By: MR Cranky

Posted On: Dec 20, 2004
Views: 229
RE: Bah Humbug

You are being kind of hard on yourself, aren't you kkk?


Posted By: Syrgot

Posted On: Dec 21, 2004
Views: 195
RE: Bah Humbug

Almighty Doer, how long did that take you to write?


Posted By: The Almighty Doer of Stuff

Posted On: Dec 21, 2004
Views: 188
RE: Bah Humbug

About five minutes.


Posted By: Syrgot

Posted On: Dec 22, 2004
Views: 174
RE: Bah Humbug

You have a knack for making up silly poetry.


Posted By: Aurora

Posted On: Dec 22, 2004
Views: 170
I didn't write this

Lacy things the wife is missin'
Didn't ask for her permission
I'm wearing her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walking 'round in women's underwear.

In the store, there's a teddy
With little straps like spaghetti.
It holds me so tight
Like handcuffs at night.
Walking 'round in women's underwear.

In the office there's a guy named Melvin
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown
He'll say, "Are you ready?"
We'll say, "Whoa man!"
Let's wait until the wife is out of town."

Later on, if you wanna
We can dress like Madonna
Put on some eye shade
And join the parade
Walking 'round in women's underwear.

Lacy things, missin'
Didn't ask, permission
I'm wearing her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walking 'round in women's underwear.


Posted By: Der

Posted On: Dec 22, 2004
Views: 159
RE: Bah Humbug

Song above to be sung to the melody of "Winter Wonderland"....?


Posted By: GJ

Posted On: Dec 22, 2004
Views: 158
RE: Bah Humbug

Almighty Doer, great song. Made me laugh out loud at work by accident ('cause of the dog rectum bit). You have no boundaries.


Posted By: The Almighty Doer of Stuff

Posted On: Dec 23, 2004
Views: 119
RE: Bah Humbug

I have boundaries, in most places. I won't go any farther than pedophilia and/or necrophilia in my poems, songs, and stories, except at a certain message board I visit.
I also wrote alternate lyrics to Long Live Rock by The Who. It's called "Long Hard Cock". I could post it if you want. It involves gay foot rape and necrophilia. I wrote it for the message board I mentioned, where we joyously make offensive posts of all kinds.


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