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Post InfoTOPIC: Need girly advice!
Posted By: GirlUWant

Posted On: Feb 16, 2005
Views: 1184
Need girly advice!

Since this is the more girly thread...how young is too young? I met this guy a few weeks ago at a bar where I like to sing karaoke at occasionally. (I don't drink at all though) Anyway, he slipped me his phone number when he left. I wasn't sure what to do with it, so I called him a couple days later just to say, well you gave me yours, so I will give you mine. He mentioned taking me out sometime in that conversation but I hadn't heard from him. Today, he asked me out for Friday night. He told me that he wants to take me out to dinner, anyway, he was totally what I am attacted to, bald with a mustache and a gotee, very cute...anyway the weird part is that he is 12 years younger and I am a little weirded out about that! I am told all the time that I don't look my age, and I did tell him how old I was the night that I met him. I have only dated two guys since I got divorced and one was 3.5 years younger and the other 4.5 years younger. I don't want to be labeled a Cougar, because I'm not! Is 12 years younger too much?


Posted By: Joe

Posted On: Feb 16, 2005
Views: 1180
RE: Need girly advice!

Bald with a mustache and a gotee, Thats freaky dude! If you date people that are 12 years younger than you... that makes you a Pedophile.


Posted By: Mr Cranky

Posted On: Feb 17, 2005
Views: 1175
RE: Need girly advice!

Joe is too young to see the age difference thing clearly. He probably thinks 25 is over the hill. Wait until he finds out the 20's only last for about 3 years.

The difference is relative. If you were 18 and he was 6, that is a huge problem. If I were to guess, I would say you are 38, making the guy 26. No problem. A long time ago my mom remarried a guy much younger and they have been disgustingly happy ever since. You should just worry about the mental age difference.


Posted By: GirlUWant

Posted On: Feb 17, 2005
Views: 1172
RE: Need girly advice!

I am 40, he is 28, and bald is quite sexy, look at Vin Diesel, The Rock and Bruce Willis!


Posted By: Joe

Posted On: Feb 17, 2005
Views: 1165
RE: Need girly advice!

I am 19 I guess I'm too young to see the age difference thing clearly. She almost old enough to be his mom.


Posted By: GirlUWant

Posted On: Feb 17, 2005
Views: 1162
RE: Need girly advice!

Actually, my oldest child is 16. This guy is half-way between my daughter and me. The thing is - I don't "feel" forty, I mean do you really feel any age? When I think of going out with a guy that is 12 years older than me, I don't know, I'm not usually attracted to guys that much older. If a guy was really hot and had a great personality and didn't seem that old, maybe...I see women that I graduated from high school with and I think their hair, style of clothes, width of ass, etc...seems so much older than me! I dress young, color my hair with highlights, haven't gained a ton of weight as an adult, wear contacts not glasses...all those things really change your appearance, ya know? When my mom was my age, she was driving a Lincoln Town Car and I drive a Camry and really want a sporty stick shift.


Posted By: Joe

Posted On: Feb 17, 2005
Views: 1152
RE: Need girly advice!

Since you have a daughter you should really ask her or your friends. You should not ask people on the internet because you never know who is on the side; they could be a real creep!


Posted By: jo

Posted On: Feb 17, 2005
Views: 1145
RE: Need girly advice!

I am in your age bracket hon, and I say go for it. I had a college lad hitting on me at the Trag Hip concert I went to New Year's Eve. It was a riot (flattering) but still a riot.

Sorry, nothing to report here :)

I would say in your mid thirties, age takes on a new perspective. The age thing is less importance. If he were 21 mind you, that could be different. The imp thing is maturity, personality, and kindness and honesty, the rest is irrelevent. (well mostly ;)


Posted By: Bob Dole (the original)

Posted On: Feb 18, 2005
Views: 1136
RE: Need girly advice!

I may be able to offer some perspective on this situation, given that I am a single man in the age range of the guy in question. If you do get involved with this person there is one critical thing you must keep in mind - it will be only a fling. A hot older woman is a great score for a single guy in his 20s, but we know 100% walking in the door that it will only be temporary. As long as you're okay with this, I say go for it.


Posted By: cuppajane

Posted On: Feb 18, 2005
Views: 1131
RE: Need girly advice!

The age thing doesn't really matter too much, he's old enough to be responsible for himself etc and obviously you are. The bigger issue is where you met him. Be sure he wasn't drunk or anything you know? And rather than dinner, meet him for coffee or something somewhere that you don't frequent too much. You don't want to invite him into your hangouts till you know if you can stand him or not. Oh and don't try to look your best; don't let him expect it! (that's just good dating sense in general-no sense in devoting too much time to hair and makeup and clothes, expensive and time consuming) I say keep your guard up a bit since you did meet him in a bar. Develop the acquaintance side of things first. But the bottom line, HAVE FUN!! (i'm guessing you do already :)


Posted By: cuppajane

Posted On: Feb 18, 2005
Views: 1130
one more thing

if you find that his maturity level is cool with you, still be aware that he's going to have some "not as mature moments" as you. Afterall, he's 26! I'm not saying it's bad, it's just frustrating or plain obvious sometimes but when you really like/love/care about the person and have a great friendship as well, you can easily overlook it. One thing that is lame is when too much focus is on the age thing. "back when i was....blah blah blah" or "OMG, I can't believe you saw [insert old band here] THEM in concert!"

yes, i KNOW what i'm talking about ;)


Posted By: Mr Cranky

Posted On: Feb 18, 2005
Views: 1125
RE: Need girly advice!

he's going to have some "not as mature moments" as you.

That could go for any guy though. We're guys. We aren't into all that maturity stuff, no matter what age. Too boring.


Posted By: gilly3

Posted On: Feb 18, 2005
Views: 1119
RE: Need girly advice!

The answer is simple - there's a formula for figuring out who is too young to date. Let your age be x and the youngest datable age be y:

x/2 + 7 = y

If you want to figure it out for someone who is older than you, just solve for y:

(y - 7)/2 = x

So, if you are 14, you can only date other 14-year-olds.

If you are 22, you can date someone as young as 18, and as old as 30.

If you are 30, your datable range is 22 to 46.

And so on.

You are 40, that means you're datable range is 27 to 66. Since he is 28, he's fair game.

Some people break this rule. I have friends who met when he was 32 and she was 18. I think they were that age when they got married. So far so good.


Posted By: Jimmy

Posted On: Feb 18, 2005
Views: 1111
RE: Need girly advice!

So if you're 2 years old you can date an 8-year-old.


Posted By: Buff-ay

Posted On: Feb 18, 2005
Views: 1106
RE: Need girly advice!

Dear Mr. Jimmy,

If he's older the 18 he's fair game! The math isn't needed after that. If he dies what you tell them to do, then he's fair game! If he needs experience give it to him straight up! If he doesn't full-fill you after that, then get rid of him!

Thank you-
MRS. ... Buff-ay!

p.s. Happily Married to my husband 12 years! (He was a virgin!) hehehehe!


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