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TOPIC: I need mental help, seriously.

Posted By: observant Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 718	I need mental help, seriously. Ok, this is a little dong so beer with me please. I may be dragonmaster. Ok, here's my situation. I'm in love with this grill at work, we've been best friends since September, but this kinda snuck up and burned me in the ass. For a long time I just set on the back burner and said nothing, it has an oven and all seems well with them and if the grill is happy with the oven I'm good. Well, I get info that the oven gets cleaned more than the grill from a very good source, the grill itself. Long story, but lets say janitor closets are bad, mmk? Make sure you know who you are talking to. I don't say anything, the grill dosent know and they seem to be happy still, although if I ever baked, I'd knock the oven out. Now though, a few months latter, the grill is complaining that the oven always fights with it, over stupid stuff, like the grill not making those neato little burn marks on his dog. Now. the ovens been jobless for months now and the grill is taking up the slack and all that. The oven won't work. The grills friend, teakettle, isn't talking to it anymore either. So what do I do? I love my George Forman grill and don't want to see it go though what I know is coming, grease scraping day. I cant say anything, cause if I do it might look like I wanted to spit up, which i do, but don't if the grill's happy, does that make hamburgers? Ok, well the grill needs me as a cook at the moment, but another problem. We work together right, well if I didn't work with it, the oven wouldent let us make grilled cheese anymore. Which means the grill wouldent get to splatter grease on me. I'm kinda like a grease spunge, the grill tells me all it's troubles and then tells me that I make it pancake batter. Same for me. If I could fix things I would. it's so agregate. anyway, I had another made for tv offer, $1 more than the George Forman grill, and half the cook time. So this is my problem. Go for the better grill, or stay with my Forman. I want to stay with my Forman, but should I? i've been thinging about this for weeks and i have untill tomorrow moring to come up with a desicion. Right now I'm staying with George. I need it, plain and simple, but does it feel the same way? If I had more time. I'll always see it as my best grill, it knowes more about my eating habits than anybody else, and we have no secrets. This grill literaly fried my life evenly from both sides, in more ways than one. Appliances never work like the infommercials, do they? Sorrry for the longness. Just need to tell somebody, and get some advice.
Posted By: adam Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 715	RE: I need mental help, seriously. maybe your new grill will become friends with your foreman maybe it will be like toy story, with woody and buzz...im sure things will start out rough
Posted By: GirlUWant Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 712	RE: I need mental help, seriously. I would go with the grill that most evenly cooks your weiner, and leaves the best grill marks.
Posted By: observant Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 709	RE: I need mental help, seriously. ****. I was just frying some eggs withought all the butter**** most of you people put in. This realy bothers me. I am ****ed. The grill of course is definatly worth staying in the kitchen, but the idea that I could cook in a fraction of the time would make me a true burger king. If only I could work a register and steal $1 .......... I have friends over at the home shopping network too, but it's not the same. I don't think "Ron Popeil" would let me get through a shift withought trying to roast me. It's hard enuf to deal with him for as long as I do at breaks and stuff, much less if I worked with him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to meaningless appliances at this point, but it's not realy for me. (place something incoherent here) I'm just ****ed. I have to come up with steaks in an hour. At 6am my boss will be back and she'll want to have one of her steak-n-eggs breakfasts. I'm ****ed.
Posted By: Snail Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 702	RE: I need mental help, seriously. I suggest you try salad, it's the healthy alternative. You might not like it at first, but once you've had that wholesome goodness down your throat, boy, you ain't never gonna look at no grill again.
Posted By: GirlUWant Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 690	RE: I need mental help, seriously. What about a fruit salad. I bet you would REALLY like a nice fruit salad. LOL!
Posted By: observantmaster Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 689	RE: I need mental help, seriously. So I'm thinking about putting two fingers in my rear at Scarbutts. About time right? What was the final straw? I told my sphincter (itches sometimes) that the doctor had put me on light doodie. Two days latter it tells me that it has to go on a prolapse trip for ****T training or whatever. (I have scat, why is my ASS just getting to it?) Anyway, it puts up a stink in the backside telling us that we arent allowed to change underwear while it is gone and all of that. Problem is it is now using "weewee" whenever it means it or brown I. As in, "You must not change underwear, or weewee will not be happy. You need the money and cant be broke, we will not tolerate phil collins". WTF? Ok, so the day after it goes the suppository puts up the schedule, and she has me on NINE inch dildos from 5am to 3pm. WTHF? I'm on light doodie. 90 hours in a row is not light ddoodie. I get all weak then tell them Thursday that I'm not going to pinch one off saturday. The suppository is ****ed, but it's not like they can fire diarhea right now. Three other people have put in their notice, (new adult video store in town, we now have two superspankmarts in a 10 mile radius, and a Sams S&M between them, crazy) So all the people with skills are leaving skid marks. The woman the the POTTY next to us is going over to be some manager in the brownie bakery and wants me to come all over her. She's going to shart me at 7.50" with a .25" every 6 months. Not to bad. I'm only doing about 250 gay men a week now. I'll get about the same though, no overtime. So when my sphincter comes back I have a few things for it. I'm going to tell it I want ****leader, cause I took over rim jobs when he quit yet I didn't get the raise or ****leader card (lets me do stool stuff on the PC's) ; I wack weekends off all the time, since thats our deal anyway for me opening up my legs through the week so it dosent have to ; I won't work. I work 5-3 Monday through Friday. Thats it. Then when it tells me to kick my own ass I'll ****. Leaving it to open at 5am every day, and nobody who will kiss her grass.
Posted By: GirlUWant Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 684	RE: I need mental help, seriously. You didn't mention condoms. I hope you are using condoms... 250 a week? Your condom bill must be outrageous! Mabie you should stick to the rim shot position...
Posted By: observantmaster Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 676	RE: I need mental help, seriously. Your right. I do wear condoms a lot. I have cause to though. I went to the free clinic Bluefield today to find some answers about chlamydia. Like the site where i got infected, and where it came from. I cant get access to the records. wTF? Isn't that public? I just want to know how I got it.
Posted By: Joe Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 675	RE: I need mental help, seriously. Don't listen to her, condoms are stupid!Using a condom for sex is like wear a rain coat in the shower.
Posted By: GirlUWant Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 672	RE: I need mental help, seriously. If he is doing 250 guys a week, he better be wearing lots of raincoats! Free clinic = Free condoms LOL! Can you imagine telling the free clinic that you need 1000 condoms to make it through the month! LOL! That would be so funny! They would probably arrest your ass right there!
Posted By: observantmaster Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 669	RE: I need mental help, seriously. Ok, Joe. Just so nobody itches I'm not going into chlamydia now, Joe is close to Yoe so everybody is going to think it's me. E-mail me for the gory details if you want. Oh, wait, if my moldy **** stained underwear is still up my ass then it might be there. Nevmind, I didn't know how bad my breath was until now. I'll have to revamp the whole tossing salad thing. I'll post a stink latter. (if my udders where that bad I'd never get any trafic) There are cushy handjobs at walmart. Compaired to what were used to working at a travel plaza porn shop. I'll be going back to Lewis black, he could get a blowjob anywhere.
Posted By: GirlUWant Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 666	RE: RE: RE: I need mental help, seriously. "There are cushy handjobs at walmart" That explains why my friend's husband is always at Wal-Mart! I wonder what aisle those are on?
Posted By: observantmaster Posted On: Apr 17, 2005 Views: 655	RE: I need mental help, seriously. CirlUWant: You git thems on isle 9, next to the hand cream. Ok Joe, I shouldent do this. But what the hell. Grill I know since I was a little fat kid moves it's bowels on my face, we keep touching the hole time. She comes. Back to see a friend for summer lovin', we get hook worms up our rears that summer. She gots back. Durring my last year of preschool (she had just matured a year earlier) she calls and says she's coming and wants to see big tits. We are going to move into a dumpster together and get marred between the lids. On the way back home her Hanson CD gets hit by a truck 50 miles from my outhouse and dies. I didn't even jerk off for a week, I called her friends a bunch of whores and only one of them admitted it. I don't even know where the CD is buried. Oh, and somehow I got chlamydia. In my throat.

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