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TOPIC: Turkadelish Panokies

Posted By: John Baylor & Little BoPeep Posted On: May 22, 2005 Views: 736	Turkadelish Panokies Hello again. I have to tell you another chapter of my life because you wanted me too. This is not the next chapter. This is the third. You must buy the 2nd chapter for $1.36 at your nearest BookStore. In this chapter I was done killing Grandular Resin in a great battle. Oops. I have said too much. Buy it anyway. Anyways, I was leaving the Rainbow Gathering with my BoPeep, and so it begins. We were coming over the mountain on the other side this time and we saw a huge city. A Huge city with great towers. My Little BoPeep screamed out "Wow what great towers of greatness!" I was appalled! Surely those towers are not greater than the great John Baylor! The strongest warrior in the world! I was appalled! Then, it hits me. This is a trick! The Turkadelish Panokies were trying to outgreat me! I grabbed my abnormally large sword. The sword is, in fact, my brothers. The late Tusk. He was mightier than me and was taken by the Turkadelish Panokies! I held it in the air, bellowed my war cry, and ran straight for the city. Upon reaching the great towers, I realized they were bigger than I thought. It couldve been part of the trip I was on from chapter one. I have been feeling side affects since then. Just yesterday while getting a great shafting from BoPeep I freaked out and hit myself. I dont know why. I remember something about being gay and liking this shafting I was getting. The towers had no doors. I ran to one of the houses and met a man named Mr. Johnson. When he saw me, he jumped in the air and fondled himself! So with my late brothers sword I cut him in half! I heard loud noises in the background, they were coming nearer. Loud banging on the door as I was picking up the peices of Mr Johnson. What was this?? I opened the door with my sword ready and the people screamed Police! Police? What? I swung at them with my sword and missed. They held out weird things and they made loud noises and peices of metal came shooting out of them. The peices hit my great fluctuating chest muscles and bounced off! I bellowed laughter. Nothing impales my great chest muscles! I swung again and then someone stuck something in me and I jolted. I was being electricuted! I fell to the floor in screams. My Bopeep was still on the mountain. I woke up in a dark place. I was in a cage! My sword was gone, my loin cloth was gone, and so was my dignity for I was completely bare and everyone could see that I wasnt entirely great. I rumbled the cage. Screamed. Someone told me to be quiet before I become something they called a "Bitch" . It didnt sound good to me so I sat and cried in the corner. I am great, no more. Where was BoPeep? When the lights turned on, someone walked in. He was waddling. I could tell by the footsteps. When he got in front me I then understood why. His body consisted of an ass and legs. One eye per butt cheek and he talked with the hole. He intorduced himself as "Buttaba, a great shit talker, and minion of Emperor Juice. He screamed horrible things. He seamed quite upset, because things were falling out of his mouth while he screamed. "Me and my soldiers are going to bring you to Emperor Juice at this instant. Abide." I abided. Emperor Juice was a large juice pitcher in tights! Anyone could drink from his top oriphace! I explained to him my plight. Avenging my brother Tusk and what-not. He said I committed a crime by killing Mr Johnson. I apologized but he said that it wasnt good enough. I pleaded. I explained "I am naked before you, showing all your rows of minions my less-than-greatness." He whispered something in my ear so his minions wouldnt hear. "Fight my minions, one by one. You will not succeed." I told him I accepted the challenge. My first opponent was alot like Buttaba. Except it was a large breast, with nipple. He introduced himself as ma-nipple-eater. "I will manipulate you in ways you never thought possible, and devour your nipples and claim victory." Surely if he did catch my nipples through manipulation, it would not be enough to claim victory. We fought some. He then yelled Touchdown, causing me to throw up my hands in rejoice. I was tricked, he bolted at my nipples and tore them off instantly. I screamed in pain. He claimed victory. I shot Juice a look. He nodded and I ran and ripped off HIS nipple causing him to explode to peices! Juice yelled out. Pointed at another minion to jump in. This one looked like a normal man, small, but normal. He said his name was Bone, then tore off his pants and a very large muscular mangina came shooting out and almost hit me! He swung it at me again, and it hit me in the side and threw me across the room! Wow, could this manginal weapon be greater than Tusk's sword? He twirled, and knocked off an innocent bystanders head. He laughed and I saw an opportunity to attack and grabbed his large mangina. He moaned. My hands were slipping but it made him moan more! I kept trying to hold grip, even bit it. It kept slipping! What do I do now? Just then a large explosion came from the other end and his body exploded, and the large manginal weapon fell to the floor and shriveled. Juice pointed at Buttaba, his last minion. Buttaba laughed and said I was an idiot. Said I was a fool. Said I would never beat him. I thought to myself, People who talk shit never win. A large brown thing shot from his mouth and I bolted away. I saw my opportunity as always and shoved my fist in his mouth, looked in his eye, and screamed "John Baylor takes shit from noone!" and he exploded into a million peices, filling the air with fecal coliform. Feces fell into Juices large oriphace. "Im ruined!" he ran into the wall, expecting it to crash from his weight but the feces had already taken there toll so he fell and his not-so-tasty-anymore drink spilled everywhere. I escaped to the mountains and found my Little BoPeep. I tried kissing her but she pushed me away. "John, you are covered in shit!" "I know Bopeep, I know. Now, give me a shafting!" The end. More chapters remain to come, if you want them.
Posted By: Martha Posted On: May 22, 2005 Views: 725	RE: Turkadelish Panokies I'm not reading that.
Posted By: Oily Finger Posted On: May 22, 2005 Views: 722	RE: Turkadelish Panokies I didn't either, but at least I counted the paragraphs. 19 total.
Posted By: Syrgot Posted On: May 22, 2005 Views: 720	RE: Turkadelish Panokies What the hell is this about? First of all. Even if a regular posts something that long, 90% of the people aren't even going to bother skimming through it. But you've never even been here before. You have to earn your respect from us before we'll give a shit.
Posted By: adam Posted On: May 22, 2005 Views: 718	RE: Turkadelish Panokies he posted the 1st chapter like 2 weeks ago, and that one was great, not as good as this one, but this one is still funny ...its really weird and messed up and hilarious in a really immature way.. at least tell me how the fight with grandular resin went LOL
Posted By: observant Posted On: May 22, 2005 Views: 711	RE: Turkadelish Panokies BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! More! More! I was afraid you wouldn't be able to escape there for a few minutes. Did you get your sword back?
Posted By: John Baylor Posted On: May 22, 2005 Views: 705	RE: Turkadelish Panokies I do not wanna talk about my battle with Gen. Grandular Resin. Juice had my sword in his drink. I am sorry I had forgotten to mention that. You who are Syrgot, I have been here before.
Posted By: Snrub Posted On: May 22, 2005 Views: 701	RE: Turkadelish Panokies Thats even longer than one of GirlUWants encyclopedia's!. I am here because I dont have a life but I'm not so badly of that I'll read through that.
Posted By: Syrgot Posted On: May 22, 2005 Views: 699	RE: Turkadelish Panokies You who are John Baylor. I've never seen you here. That doesn't mean much, but I've still never seen you.
Posted By: adam Posted On: May 22, 2005 Views: 696	RE: Turkadelish Panokies well i thought it was worth the read....
Posted By: adam Posted On: May 22, 2005 Views: 689	RE: Turkadelish Panokies he didnt stick to teh story very well. the general was named Glandular resin in the first chapter,,,now its grandular....glandular makes more sense...
Posted By: Martha Posted On: May 23, 2005 Views: 659	RE: Turkadelish Panokies Why did you read it?
Posted By: GirlUWant Posted On: May 23, 2005 Views: 657	RE: Turkadelish Panokies ...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zz
Posted By: The Almighty Doer of Stuff Posted On: May 25, 2005 Views: 637	RE: Turkadelish Panokies I thought it was kind of funny. What poll was the first chapter in? I want to save the whole saga on my computer.
Posted By: GirlUWant Posted On: May 26, 2005 Views: 634	RE: Turkadelish Panokies It was just a couple of weeks ago or so. Not very long ago, for sure within the last month.

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