American Idol Conspiracy Theories
How the hell is no-talent Carmen still stinking up my TV every week? [15 votes total]

Her Mormon underpants protect her from harm (3)
She's a necessary part of the program as Clay's beard (0)
Goats have access to telephones and believe she is their leader (0)
Americans are dumber than even the French think we are (0)
Vanessa Olivarez is off in a secret hideaway, voting for Carmen and laughing maniacally (4)
Carmen's eerie resemblance to a blowup doll is garnering votes from hard-up teenage boys (1)
She knows Juanita AND cares about the chirren (2)
Fox is the second gunman on the grassy knoll. I cry conspiracy! (0)
The terrorists have won (3)
What do you mean? She has a wonderful voice! (2)

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