What could swing your vote? [1439 votes total]
 
  | 
| 
Candidate chases a chicken around like Rocky at every campaign stop (31) | 
 2% | 
| 
Candidate sets Guiness Record for eating most amount of ping pong balls (11) | 
 1% | 
| 
Candidate promises to rename Iraq-- (insert your name here)ville (29) | 
 2% | 
| 
Candidate breakdances on a bed of nails. (23) | 
 2% | 
| 
In speeches the candidate only uses the word 'Snarf' in different tones and emphasis. (51) | 
 4% | 
| 
Candidate becomes BFF with Ashton Kutcher (16) | 
 1% | 
| 
Candidate declares porn watching as the new 'national pastime' (78) | 
 5% | 
| 
Candidate challenges all detractors to 'kickboxing smackdowns! mano a mano, bitch!' (48) | 
 3% | 
| 
Candidate promises a free monkey butler for every household (135) | 
 9% | 
| 
Candidate says everytime he's caught in a lie he'll write 'LIE BOY' on his forehead with a sharpee. (176) | 
 12% | 
| 
Candidate bites  two eyes, nose, and mouth  in a piece of bologna and sticks his tongue through (23) | 
 2% | 
| 
Candidate's wife shows her boobs (136) | 
 9% | 
| 
Candidate promises to paint the white house 'stripey like fruit stripe' (17) | 
 1% | 
| 
Candidate smokes a big spliff and mumbles something about releasing "secret UFO files that are really cool". (188) | 
 13% | 
| 
Candidate changes his name to the other candidates name just to make everything crazy. (53) | 
 4% | 
| 
Candidate promises to turn the Presidency into a big reality show. (61) | 
 4% | 
| 
All of the above except number 6. (232) | 
 16% | 
| 
None of the above. This poll belongs in the dumpster (131) | 
 9% |