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| Posted By: Wizard® Posted On: Feb 12, 2003 Views: 256 | Kids, don't try this at home! One of the operatives of Dr. Chin has intercepted this dispatch from Dio to a certain boarding facility in England. We will let it speak for itself: ------------------------------------------------- To: The Strand Palace, 372 The Strand London, England WC2R 0JJ To Whom It May Concern: While at your hotel during my stay in London for the Pippi Longstocking Look-a-like Transvestite Convention, I was shocked and outraged at the depths that your establishment will stoop to make a cheap half a crown. I am speaking of the drinking fountain in the water closet. To place a the water fountain so close to the floor in an attempt to get you guests to grab a bottle of water from the honor bar rather than get down on their hands and knees to quench their thirst is beyond the pale. I will let you know that I did not fall for this sad capitalistic ploy. A person of my status is indeed quite accustomed being on their knees and in a prone position. I drank from your water fountain more than I might normally have just to spite you. You heard me correct, sir. I drank to excess from the water fountain in order to show my disdain for this vile practice of your establishment. It is my hope that you will see the error of your ways and place taller drinking fountains in your rooms since many self-respecting Englishmen would not lower themselves as I did. If you persist in such a cruel practice, I will have no recourse but to drink even more water from the fountain during my next stay at your hotel. Toodle Pip! Field Marshall Dionysus ------------------------------------------------- To: Field Marshall Dionysus Dionysus International Head Quarters Bounder-Upon-Avon, England WC4F 2LL Dear Field Marshall, We are sorry that you did not find your stay at The Strand Palace as satisfying as it could have been. However, we must advise you that none of our rooms are equipped with a drinking fountain. We believe that which you refer to is a bidet, of which proper use does not involve drinking. Management, The Strand Palace --------------------------------------------- All Hail Dr. Chin! |
| Posted By: Field Marshall Dio Posted On: Feb 13, 2003 Views: 248 | Up yours Johnny Yankee! Don't you come on my message board with your filthy Yankee toilet humour you brigand! I don't know how you got a hold of this letter of mine but it was quite a simple error I made in regards to mistaking that silly FRENCH invention of a bidet for a British water fountain. How the bloody hell was I supposed to know you are meant to wash your arse in it? Hummm hummm? Filthy european activity if you ask me. What's wrong with a good old traditional British hot bath and some Epsom Salts? I categorically refuse to wash my arse in a sink. Bloody Frenchie cheese eating surrender monkies! Wazzard, I've a good mind to have you thrashed with a cat-o-nine tails for printing that personal missive of mine to The Strand Hotel. Your underhand shabby tactics will win you no favours here you vile piece of Chin fodder! Harrumph! Field Marshall Dio |
| Posted By: Tangler Posted On: Sep 25, 2003 Views: 214 | small test small test. Yahoo Club done. |