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TOPIC: just a note of warning

Posted By: DrChin Posted On: Nov 29, 2003 Views: 511	just a note of warning For anyone who has a PayPal account, someone is sending out fraudulent e-mails posing as PayPal. The notices state that your account has been restricted and that you need to update your credit card info. While this seems a pretty blatant attempt at credit theft, the e-mails look authentic at first glance. But they are not. All PayPal urls start with https. Also, in the case of the message I received, when changed to full page view, the header reads: PayPaI instead of PayPal. There is also some hidden text below the message that can be found by dragging the cursor over the blank section while holding down the left mouse button. Tis the season.
Posted By: Field Marshall Dio Posted On: Nov 30, 2003 Views: 488	Damn you Legion! I specifically told you to word that e-mail to Chin in a believable manner. He's gone and sussed us out now. I spent one whole week with Corporal JSK, Sgt. Fonz and Lieutenant Cleo working out that cunning plan to sap the funds from Chin's off-shore bank account... but then you went and blew it you nincompoop! Trust you to get it all wrong and allow our arch nemesis to figure out it was a scam. You... You... You... BOUNDER! Sometimes Legion, I despair at the times I've let you off the hook for your forest loon incompetence in military espionage.
Posted By: Tangler100 Posted On: Nov 30, 2003 Views: 484	Forget about the damn warning to Legion... ...Forest loon incompetence in military espionage ? ? ? ...How in the hell can you expect anything to be done right from a forestful of wingless loons or a bunch of quadruped-walking, tree-house dwelling chimps in the first place ? ? ? ! ! ! You are an utter disgrace to the Joint Services Command and Staff College and Royal Military Academy, and your resignation as DIHQ Commander-in-Chief is forthrightly accepted and noted. The Prime Minister has regrettably informed me of your immediate transfer to the next outbound Royal Navy Frigate awaiting departure to Iraq, where, upon disembarking, you will go the British HQ for Her Majesty's role in the Joint Iraqi Peacekeeping Force with the Americans. You will then be put in charge of "gophering" (you go for this..and you go for that...sort of like a dog or gopher fetching for his master...); overall latrine-cleaning; and general rubbish take-out. Try not to muck it up. There are no forest loons nor furry quadrupeds to cope with over there. Sincerely, Admiral Tang Ministry of Defence (P.S. from Her Majesty: While you're over there, try and find, if you can, Saddam Hussein for everybody and just tell him life would be a hell of a lot easier if he'd just keep a stiff upper lip, give up, and commit suicide for us all.--and don't bother saying "Toodle pip ! ! ! " to him ! ! !) I bid you good trip. Again, Admiral Tang
Posted By: Cleo Posted On: Nov 30, 2003 Views: 482	RE: just a note of warning Drats, I thought I worded that thing perfectly, and it would fool the Doc for sure! Sorry Sir, I failed! Cleo PS
Posted By: JSK Posted On: Nov 30, 2003 Views: 464	RE: just a note of warning I plead the fifth. Or as butthead says : "I please the fifth ... or something" JSK
Posted By: legion Posted On: Dec 1, 2003 Views: 453	RE: just a note of warning I deserve to be promoted for incompetence just like everyone else at the British Home Office. How do you think Dio rose through the ranks so quickly?
Posted By: Field Marshall Dio Posted On: Dec 1, 2003 Views: 445	Blaggards! Well done chaps... Cleo, it was Fluffy's fault, don't worry. Good work. Tango... we'll have less of the insubordination from you mi laddie, your still at private rank the last time I looked. So so stop with the flippancy and go fetch me some shag. JSK, back to your post. Fluffy, for someone who wears women's clothing and hangs around in bars, you have a lot of cocky lumberjack hot air about you you Canadian forest loon. You're on your second warning now..... ten hut! Keep it keen men, the BIG PUSH is coming... FM DIO
Posted By: Lord Grant (First Sea Lord) Posted On: Dec 1, 2003 Views: 438	Admiral Tang?........Admiral Tang??..... ...There is no Admiral Tang. I'm almost sure of it! Now where's that blooming roster? Aha! Here it is. {Flips through the roster.} Now, let's see...there's Admiral Fisher...Admiral Jellico...Admiral Fraser...Yes, it's just as I thought. There is no Admiral Tang! Come to think of it, there are no other officers named Tang either. I'm almost positive! {Flips further through the roster.} Nope, no Rear Admiral Tang...no Commodore Tang...no Commander or Lt. Commander Tang...and no Captain Tang either. Now who could this Tang ninny be? {Flips roster over to the enlisted portion.} Well, the only name here that remotely resembles a Tang, is that of Swabbie 4th Class Tongue Tangled.......Tongue Tangled??? Ummm, it appears someone's been nipping away at the jailbird brew(raisin wine) again. At it again are we Swabbie 4th Class Tongue Tangled? Impersonating a superior officer? This is a capital offense! I could have your fat little a s s keel hauled for this you babbling buttmunch!! Well, this certainly isn't going unnoticed. I'm putting your old flabby butt on report! And if I here of any more violations from you, I'll take further action as needed!! __________________________________________________ {Tongue Tangled babbled to the Field Marshall:} You are an utter disgrace to the Joint Services Command and Staff College and Royal Military Academy, and your resignation as DIHQ Commander-in-Chief is forthrightly accepted and noted. __________________________________________________ Lipping a senior officer? Oh, you've done it now Tongue Tangled. I'm taking a stripe for this! From now on your pay grade is Swabbie 5th Class Tongue Tangled. __________________________________________________ {Tongue Tangled further babbled:} The Prime Minister has regrettably informed me of your immediate transfer to the next outbound Royal Navy Frigate awaiting departure to Iraq, __________________________________________________ Impersonating the PM? Have you gone mad?? Well, this IS serious. You are as of now, restricted to barracks! This means no trips to the 7-11, no trips to the newsstand for the latest issue of Playgirl Magazine, and no hanging out in the 'Lavender District' during leisure hours. __________________________________________________ {Tongue Tangled further babbled to the Field Marshall:} You will then be put in charge of "gophering" (you go for this..and you go for that...sort of like a dog or gopher fetching for his master...); overall latrine-cleaning; and general rubbish take-out. __________________________________________________ Giving orders to a superior senior officer I see? Well, here are some orders for you Swabbie 5th Class Tongue Tangled. Grab your peeler and report to the Mess Hall, ON THE DOUBLE!!!. Upon arrival, march into the pantry and look for a giant pile of Idaho Reds. Once located, attack this pile of potatoes with extreme prejudice. __________________________________________________ {More babblings from Tongue Tangled:} (P.S. from Her Majesty: While you're over there, try and find,... __________________________________________________ Impersonating the Crown I see? Our Sovereign Monarch and rightful ruler?? THAT DOES IT!!! As we speak I'm issuing the following directive to the Mess Mall: -------------------------------------------------- Directive no. 175983-671 From: Lord Grant(First Sea Lord) To: The Director of Catering Duration: Effective immediately and until further notice from the Admiralty. For impersonating the Crown, the PM, and mouthing-off to a senior superior officer, Swabbie 5th Class Tongue Tangled is hereby duly ordered to be put on a strict diet of bread and water. EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!! -------------------------------------------------- And NO Tongue Tangled, before you ask, jelly doughnuts are NOT officially considered bread. ........That is all............................... Well don't just stand there Tongue Tangled? Get out of my office!! DISMISSED!!!
Posted By: JSK Posted On: Dec 2, 2003 Views: 418	RE: Grant grants T-100 a shaming Oh Good Lord waz dat funny . JSK
Posted By: Royal Ministry of Defence Posted On: Dec 2, 2003 Views: 405	DISCOMMENDATION PROCLAMATION FROM: MINISTRY OF DEFENCE OFFICE OF MILITARY PRESS RELATIONS TO: COMMANDER, DIHQ TOPIC: STRIPPAGE OF RANK, ARSE-KICKING, AND DISCOMMENDATION Her Majesty's Ministry of Defence has taken unforgiveable offence at such extreme reaction by the Field Marshall regarding Admiral Tang's explicit assessment and orders to you. His illustrious Service to Crown and Country has remained hidden from popular listing because of the Foreign Office's request--the nature of his secretive and delicate work thus demanding so...hence your inability to locate him and his glorious accomplishments in Registry. Far be it for this Ministry to lower itself to the peon status displayed by a fourth-rank Commander in charge of a fifth-rank rag-tag outfit of blokes who apparently can't even cope with the affair of espionage by relying upon a bloody bunch of forest loons...The Ministry of Defence has therefore authorized this Office of Military Press Relations to issue the following Queen's Discommendation Proclamation directly from The Palace: 1) WHEREAS the Commander of DIHQ has shown he can no longer manage his personal discipline commensurate with his rank; and, 2) WHEREAS the Commander of DIHQ has been chasing around his operatives continually without success like a feudal knight running around on a blind horse suffering from mad-cow disease; and, 3)nbsp;WHEREAS the Commander of DIHQ has shown his gross incompetence of directing those under his command, with no hope of rectifying the deplorable situation for saving his troops nor his reputation; and, 4) WHEREAS the reputation of his consistent failures is bringing extreme embarrassment, irreversible damage, and disgusting anguish to Her Majesty, This Honourable Ministry of Defence and The Entire Commonweath, inasmuch as Every Member of the Royal House of Windsor, The Whole of Parliament, and Every Baron, Knight, Duke, Earl, Count, Countess, and pauper-in-the-kingdom should wish to relegate him to exile; BE IT HEREBY RESOLVED: That said Field Marshall Dio is hereby officially stripped of all Rank, Title, Privilege, and Honour associated with his post, and is hereby officially issued discommendation for his conduct unbecoming someone of his position, and is relieved from ever serving on behalf of Her Majesty, This Kingdom or Commonwealth, or This Ministry ever again. Yours respectfully submitted, Secretary of State for Defence Rt Hon Geoffrey Hoon MP Minister of State for the Armed Forces Adam Ingram MP Now that you have been officially scrapped, get over to port and get on the bloody frigate ! Signed, Your Queen, Elizabeth II
Posted By: alfonsothefan Posted On: Dec 2, 2003 Views: 391	RE: Hey Liz... This wouldn't have anything to do with the 'rumor' ol' Dio called ya a "deformed cow slut Bitch from Krout loins" would it? Hey, I'm certain our renowned Field Marshall woulda used the term "bovine". Well...pretty sure. atf, FORMER Director of Security, DIHQ
Posted By: steve Posted On: Dec 2, 2003 Views: 377	RE: just a note of warning If Lord Grant is in fact, the guy who was ****ting on tangler, and who was giving him crap on Barbs board, so be it. But my God, that was a hilarious post. I love this board!
Posted By: Tangler100 Posted On: Dec 3, 2003 Views: 361	(Wrong, stevie boy...but, yes, Dio IS funny...) Sorry to disappoint you there, stevie boy, but, no, there sure as hell is NO connection between Lord Grant (a.k.a. Dio) and Ulysses S. Grant on Barb's Board or here (the difference is obvious). The difference between Dio and Ulysses S. Grant is like the difference between a geometric fractal and a line segment. One (Dio) has humor and expository creativity (as well as a contemplative mind, I admit, on various subjects), and the other (Ulysses S. Grant) is about as flat and brain-dead in his thoughts and posts as a dead corpse of a general can be. (Yeah, M-Ass-cot Muleschitter Grant does have his own amusing style as interpreted by some, but since he's only good for his on-going personal attacks, that only shows his on-going asininity like another shape: a circle. His crappin' has no beginning and no end.) At least Dio knows how to score on the laugh-o-meter, I fully agree. Stick around, you'll like it here. (While I'm at it, Special Note to "Lord Grant": Direct from The Palace--For impersonating a "Sea Lord", Her Majesty and the Prime Minister have taken steps to convert the DIHQ Headquarters into a pigeon barn during your tour of duty in Iraq. The damn birds are somehow attracted to an awful stench emanating from your establishment, and it would be far better to have their bird-droppings (originating from your damn forest loons, perhaps, ol' chap ? ? ?) pile up there instead of damming up the Thames River and Her Majesty's Royal Port. The Royal Quartermaster has orders to pack up your desk, chairs, and all your poppycock trifles and trinkets and dump them head first over the London Bridge; the sooner, the better...and so I again bid you good trip; just get on with it as fast as your arse can go. If you need help, just bend over, and I'll be glad to kick it ! ! !--Signed, Your Queen, Elizabeth II)
Posted By: legion Posted On: Dec 5, 2003 Views: 325	RE: just a note of warning Bravo! that was great fun. Prvt 5th Class Swabby Tongue Tangled will love this, just as soon as he finishes up. Over there Tang, you missed a spot.
Posted By: Field Marshall Dio Posted On: Dec 6, 2003 Views: 307	What is this.. I'm not having... I, I, outrage! What's this... what's this... Ministry of Defence, stripping of rank.... this is an outrage! Who wrote that? Come on.... I'm waiting... who bloody wrote that message, I'll rue the day when I let one my troops or some fifth columnist talk to me like that..... I, I, I, Rotter! Sgt. Fonz, Private Legion, officer Hutch, Corporal JSK, Lieutenants Rough, Cleo and Marty.... my office 9am Monday morning. We're going to get this imposter posing as an official of the Ministry of Defence. I, I, I, I, outrage! I know whose behind this, It's that bloody sneaky little rat face.... the Right Honorable Sir Mike Hunt of Chesington North, a minor subordinate within the Royal Naval Services. Bloody Royal Navy! I've always had a bad relationship with those lady boys. The army, that's the true military, not those boat based bum boys who lark about like a bunch of women in a pontoon all day and get paid for it. I know it was you Mike! And I can assure you that when I visit the House of Lords and see my good friends Lord Monty Fotheringhew, Sir Ginger Petherington-Smythe, and Charlie Monkey; you're going to be out of a job you scurrilous sly-winking guttersnipe!!! I'm not having this you blaggard! Yours faithfully Field Marshall Dio (on her Majesty's Service)