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| Posted By: JSK Posted On: Jan 29, 2004 Views: 372 | Can you be a pornstar ? Hey comm-ratts- Was watching the boobtube tonight and happened to catch a show on pay per view called "can you be a pornstar ? " The title alone is a seller . A really dumb show & to boot its on ppv which costs $ considering you can find better things on the net for free ... anyways ofcourse I watched it because its in our package deal . During a segment they showed the ladies in a ring taking pictures and posing so I dashed to the VCR only to be disgusted they flipped to another scene !?! So I sat back and waited because it was only on for a few more minutes . NOTHING ! But , then I gave it one last chance and during the previews (which they showed a lot of) they featured the ladies/wanna be pornstars wrasslin in hot oil : ) Why do they call it hot oil ? Its not really steaming hot or anything like that is it ? Looked like although they weren't out to kill each other they were out to win . And these ladies were all hotties . We may even see a facesit : )~ Now only to find the exact date of that episode ! Anyone else heard of this lovely show? JSK |
| Posted By: alfonsothefan Posted On: Jan 30, 2004 Views: 365 | RE: Can you be a pornstar ? No, I've never seen the PPV of which you speak but yes, think I've heard of it. Hell, I thought sure we'd be hearing that you were gonna 'try out' but...Mrs Killer might not be too impressed with that idea, eh what? atf, I never tried out for a porno audition |
| Posted By: Zip the Tiny Wonder Posted On: Jan 30, 2004 Views: 355 | I could have been a porn star One of my interesting forays in this "business" we call "show", was when I did a few videos for Boss Scabby in Tampa. The Boss was a good man...he had a soft place for hard dwarves! He really wanted to take dwarf porn to a whole other level and I was destined to be his biggest star. This was in the early 80's and I was DESPERATE...I needed the money! I had been working at "Bourbon Joe's" for a while...it was a "mini-giftshop/sandwich place/gambling den". I was their little mascot. I would dress up as a ham on rye from 4-7 on Mon and Wed...a Turkey Club from 3-6 on Tues and Thurs. A drunken gambler once took a lunge at me and tried to take a bite out of me! It was miserable work! There for a time I honestly thought about taking my cousin Mel up on his offer to return to Romania to run that goddamned ferret farm! But then, Boss Scabby walked in one day! He took one look at me and said, "Hey kind, you wanna make dirty movies?" I said "Why YES...yes I do!" So I left that thankless job and I thought I was going to be a BIG PORNOGRAPHICAL MOVIE STAR! Boss was just swell...he was handsome, with a big Caddy, furs, and lots of shiny jewelry (he had bling bling before there was bling bling!) He just looked like a big time movie producer! He said he was in pharmaceuticals on the side and wanted to get into making movies full time. He was also a wonderful matchmaker who knew a lot of very pretty girls and would set them up on dates. Boss was a saint and could have been the Orson Welles of dwarf porn! I did about four videos for Boss (maybe five..they kind of run together). It was a very creative, prolific time for me. My favorite girl I worked with was Bunny White. We did the video "Bunny White and the Seven Inch Dwarf", probably my finest work with Boss. Boy oh boy, when Bunny and I did the nasty, we set the woods on fire (and she set MY wood on fire)! I could have died between those wondrous breasteses of her's...I'm tellin' ya! Bunny and I had real chemistry and I think that we could have had a relationship, outside our onscreen monkey business, if I had been about three feet taller (she loved tall men). Bunny was also a good cook (she made a great tuna melt) and she would often cook for Boss Scabby and I after a long day of shooting hot sweaty dwarf/woman sex. The film we did together is considered one of those "lost films" now, because I was the only one with the original print and it was destroyed when my storage building got hit by lightning a few years ago. Tragic! I've seen a few copies of it floating around (mostly at yard sales). My collaboration with Boss Scabby lasted only about six months (but it seemed like six minutes)! Man, it just flew by and it was about the most wonderful time in my whole life. Unfortunately, while filming "Zip Does Sarasota" I sprained my groin and that pretty much did it for my career. Everything seemed to fall apart about that time! Boss suddenly had business in Boca Raton. He left town saying he'd see me on Thursday...22 years later and I'm still waiting! Poor Boss..I guess he just didn't have the heart to tell me that I was damaged goods! I'll NEVER forget those last words he said to me. He said, "Zip, you have a big heart, big talent, and a big slong...there is nothing you cannot do, kid....Now, can you give me some money for the cab fare?" Boss Scabby was a wonderful man! I hope that was an enlightening anectdote! Remember, if you get into big time porn, you can lose your heart and possibly pull your groin out, so for goodness sake..BE CAREFUL! ZiP |
| Posted By: wiseguyly69 Posted On: Jan 30, 2004 Views: 353 | Hey Zippy... Hope you didn't miss the casting call, but I heard today that there is going to be a new reality show called the littlest groom. I guess a little guy gets to pick between regular women and little women. That should be ripe with catfighting and backstabbing. Good luck!! Yours in burning out days and nights wiseguy |
| Posted By: JSK Posted On: Jan 30, 2004 Views: 334 | RE: Not with my units size but ... Hey Fonz ... I wasn't asking I'm telling ya thats the name of the show : ) And I won't go into my shaddy little past although Mrs.JSK knows much about it . Yeah , I've been in some "home movies" through out the years , but I wouldn't place my arse on the Hollywood walk of fame thats for sure ; ) Anyways my wife was watching the show with me giving the old "sigh" looking at the clock because when I stopped on the channel I told her we were watching the last few minutes of it . Thats right ... I told her unlike other shmucks who would hand over the clicker upon request !!! Naw , not me and especially when I become fixated that there may be a tussle on tv. Ofcourse sitting through the lezbian sex scenes were kinda cool too and just made the time go by as I waited to see how the ring would play into this show . Now we sometimes place a wager if any actual contact will happen when we watch (lets say) the spanish channel or anything where two women are in a room heated at one another : ) Doesn't happen often , but I can usually spot the catfight ready to happen and know the signs when nothing but talk will end it. When I lose it means I do the friggin dishes or something household stupied. When she loses .... #()$*#%*Y ! This was one of the occasions that I told her next week there will be an oil fight or something and YEPPERS I was correct ! And like I said the commercials looked really sweet ! Ok , enough about me and the private ****e I really shouldn't be talking about ...... Zippster thats a fine peice of work you wrote there . You really have lived it up man ! I wanna party with you and a few 30 packs of American swill (bud) We'll run down the streets drunk yelling at women tellin them to fight each other !!! As always a very thoughtful story , but kinda short : )~ Wiseguy are you serious about this "little" show you were talking about ? Not that I have anything against it , infact I think it would be great . Can't be any worse than that show "average Joe" ! Its where some poor model unknowingly must choose between a selection of 18 guys or something . Not just guys though ... average joe's . people who look alot like Leege . Fat, ugly and smelly (LOL) Alrighty , gonna go surf and actually look at some porn for once . Even fem wrestling bores me today : ( JSK |
| Posted By: alfonsothefan Posted On: Feb 1, 2004 Views: 316 | RE: Porn Porn bores me. It really does. I've always felt that sex was a participatory activity, not something to watch while sitting on a couch. Not that I haven't watched it at times, but - unlike, say...boxing, football or ultimate fighting...- I'd much rather BE doing "it" (the Clinton "it") than watching "it". Hell will be watching endless Shane Jabroni matches and hearing him/it scream like a wench from Vivid or something. Chilling, really. atf |
| Posted By: wiseguyly69 Posted On: Feb 1, 2004 Views: 305 | oh jsk please i've been drinking again and u wish yi were master of the remot? i wuz serious about tehe little guy show; i won't watch itt but itis crazy wht the waya fox keep coming up with weird ****...i'm sure mssus killa bput the smack down as soon sas u wanted to put on somtfin lieke the leinggerie bowl oi actuallw ywatched the game at teh good time emoporium in someriville, a place u are familiar with and i tfigured they wuld show wthe lingerie bowl bu instead i haddto wathvch te he crap haldfitme showl.. stilllnot sure who tehe speicail gusest was. if eel kinda speial not being able to type thacx to alltehem there cold drinks...hoepe you uenjoyed the game; i wuz reminiscing with my freindds tonit w about how we watched the sox beat the yanks in game 6 and then had to put up with them lusing sgame 7, which apparently yank fans rank up there as the #1 game all time.. all right gutsata dfinnishs my last coldie and go to sleeps...amyabe a isick call in the a.m. is in order? i kno that jsk duznt have to worry aboutsuxch things... yours in dringking too much... wzguy69 ps wrarnign.. the feardless field mardhshalls birdthday is coming ssoon. maybe he's turning 29? i had a dream once that he came to aermerica and we hung out; in the dream he was bald; any frueudina translattions appreciated... |
| Posted By: JSK Posted On: Feb 2, 2004 Views: 298 | RE: Can you be a pornstar ? Dam Wiseass your pritty messed up huh ? (LOL) Good times seems like a GOOD place to watch the game seeing its a sports bar/club . I didn't catch it they had it from your post ? Most of the time a lot of clubs, bars ect don't televise PPV events because they need to pay some outragous entertainment fee. But , pleanty still do and just hope not to get caught . My band played there a few months back ... I think U knew that ? Not a bad place , but not my favorites either . I think I'd rather go there just to hang out next time . Haven't been there in a while . Drop me a line or give me a buzz next time U'r gonna go there . Wouldn't mind going there and checking out that blonde bartender they got over there : ) You know who I'm talking about ! Happy Hangover - JSK |
| Posted By: JSK Posted On: Feb 3, 2004 Views: 294 | RE: Can you be a pornstar ? I totally agree ATF . I think I have one porno tape hidden a way somewhere , but ofcourse (maybe) 50 or so fem wrestling tapes. I did have more but chucked afew out through the years . Stupid !!!! And for me I can't stand watching fem vs male unless its me getting the beatdown . I double hear ya on the porn crap where you have to look at some hairy guys arse while he's taggin some broad . Lezbian tapes are cool , but even that doesn't do much unless they are aggressive with each other or something . I'd buy a pro women's wrestling tape before I'd buy porn . Well unless there was a wrassling match on the porn tape . JSK |
| Posted By: Zip the Tiny Wonder Posted On: Feb 3, 2004 Views: 283 | Another reason porn is bad for you! Porn is really like drugs isn't it? It is ADDICTIVE! I have had the various longings in my loins and weaknesses of the flesh. I AM ONLY HUMAN. Since I really like you perverted big people, I will tell you another story that will hopefully persuade anyone tempted by porn to push it away..with your one free hand! After I worked for Boss Scabby, I was totally OBSESSED with sex! I had simply been around it too much..like a child with too much damn candy! There for a time, I was a total SEX ADDICT..like Bill Clinton, Tommy Lee, and Soupy Sales. I was SO PITIFUL! I thought of sex all day, and when I dozed off I dreamed about it! Like a druggie jonsing for a "fix", it was ALL I thought about...so I got me a job at an adult video store. What I thought would be a pie job and heaven on earth turned into HELL! Imagine if you will, a crack addict working in a crack store (if there were such a thing). THAT WAS ME!! The monkey was no longer on my back...it was on the many shelves there in front of me! On slow nights at the store, I would pop in a tape and begin to furiously abuse myself! The tapes turned me on. I knew I really had a problem when customers would come in and I wouldn't stop. I was like one of those monkeys at the zoo! Needless to say, I wasn't a very good employee. People would come in and rob us blind while I was engaged in beating the daylights out of myself. For some, I think I was quite the "conversation piece"..I believe some thought I was some sort of store display. I WAS NOT! I was simply a PATHETIC SEX ADDICT. Perhaps it was really a cry for help. The store got MANY complaints and my boss caught me in the act about twenty times before he finally decided to let me go! It was inevitable! You cannot have a naked dwarf pounding it in a place of business (even a sleazy adult video store). I pulled up my pants, collected my severance and left in total disgrace! I only tell you this embarassing story to WARN you of the potential dangers of porn. I have been on both sides of the camera, people! Among other things, porn can also cost you your job! ZiP |
| Posted By: JSK Posted On: Feb 5, 2004 Views: 273 | RE: Can Zip be a pornstar ? furiously abuse myself Tahahahahaha .... Oh the humor ! JSK |
| Posted By: alfonsothefan Posted On: Feb 5, 2004 Views: 270 | Bill Clinton?Tommy Lee? Soupie Sales?!!! Hey Zipster... ZIP IT! I met Soup once as a kid and lemme tell ya, he NEVER asked me to sleep over. Can't speak for the girls, tho. Guess you could be right. But putting Sales in the same category as Clinton and Lee is mean and vicious. Oh moderator!!!! Moderator!! atf, befuddled |
| Posted By: Zip the Tiny Wonder Posted On: Feb 5, 2004 Views: 264 | Soupy Sales was a goddamned GENIUS! Time magazine once called my pal Soupy "the last genuine comic primitive." He was a gifted performer with a sophisticated, contagious sense of humor. He was a friend and I still get a Christmas card from him (every three or four years). Like many GENIUSES, Soupy was a complex and oft times troubled artist. He wrestled with many a demon..(drugs, booze, sex, fallen arches, dandruff). We all can't be drug free and PERFECT like JSK! From Broadway to TV..from dinner theatre to "What's My Line"..this man DID IT ALL! No one EVER lived, loved and lost like Soupy Sales..and he would be the first to tell you (well actually the second..I'm the first). I owe Soupy my life! He picked me up when I was down and out in the early 70's. There for a time, he let me live in the trunk of his car. I worked it off by keeping his gardenias watered (boy, Soupy was a sonofabitch about those damn gardenias). And nobody in showbiz partied like Soupy and I used to! Christ, we could have shown Tommy Lee how it was done! Soupy was an animal and he and I used to cruise the Sunset Strip and pick up women every night (if that didn't work out, we'd ride up to Mulholland and take turns beating up homeless guys). From June of 73 til April of 74, it was nothing but wild, drug filled sex parties 24/7. I once snorted coke off of Goldie Hawn's sweet ass. In the summer of 73, we went on the road with Sabbath and every night Soupy would drink Ozzy under the table (these are the stories you never hear from Ozzy). It was just a wild time and I'm lucky I survived it, to be quite honest! A lot of it is a blur. But let there be no doubt, Soupy brought his particular brand of antisocial depravity to his kiddie shows as well (when you lived the life of Soupy, it would have to seep in)! If you watched enough of him as a little tyke, YOU were no doubt influenced by it, alfonzo! There was the episode in which he told the kids in the audience to "go to daddy's wallet and get those little green pieces of paper with pictures of Washington, Lincoln, and Ben Franklin. Send them to me and I'll send you a postcard from Puerto Rico." A nice little trick that, no doubt, influenced many...from Enron and Halliburton execs to Martha Stewart! (Soupy got suspended over that one, by the way). Soupy's sexual mania was quite subversive and seemed ro manifest itself in his obsession with the "F word". There's that memorable show where he asked the audience what word started with F and ended with U-C-K. The answer was "Firetruck" and Soupy actually got away with it, the twisted little bastard! His "excuse" was that he suffered a nervous breakdown during that particular broadcast. He was perverted..but slick! And then there's the episode where Soupy holds up flash cards for White Fang to read. Soupy shows O...White Fang says O. Soupy shows B...White Fang says B. Soupy shows F...White fang says K. Soupy repeats this one with the same results and a frustrated Soupy exclaims, "Why is it I show you F and you see K?" I guess the most glaring act of sexual psychosis was when Soupy opened the "mystery door" to reveal that naked lady...the first and, to this day, ONLY naked lady to ever appear on a kiddie show! You remember that one, don't you? She had boobs and everything and it made Janet Jackson's stunt pale in comparison (and this was forty years ago)! Urban legend said it was a "prank" pulled on Soupy. Yeah right! Don't tell me he didn't know about it! I knew Soupy and I'll bet you ten to one Soupy nailed that little blonde "prank" right after the show! Soupy had a slightly dangerous edge and was sort of like Captain Kangaroo on acid. I used to hang with Bob Keshan, too (someday I'll tell you what was REALLY in those big pockets of his). Soupy was probably a huge inspiration for Paul Reubens (Pee Wee)..another sexual sicko who also believed in subliminal sex ed for the kiddies. Soupy loved to entertain..he loved to party...he was a babe magnet...and he knew how to score killer angel dust. What more do you need in a man? I say that, despite being a total freaky dicky, he was (and IS) a GENIUS. To those who say otherwise, well.....FIRETRUCK THEM!! ZiP |