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| Posted By: Zip the Tiny Wonder Posted On: Mar 26, 2004 Views: 304 | I need help! I have decided to VOTE this year! This is a major thing for little old me. Don't get me wrong, I'm as patriotic as the next little SOB, but those goddamned voting booths are next to impossible for a little squirt like me to handle! The last person I tried to vote for was the charismatic Jerry Ford. I felt a "kinship" with Jerry because I fall down a lot too. In place of voting, I have tried doing other things to lend support. There was the time I stood outside a voting place and threw peanuts at Jimmy Carter supporters (that one got me arrested). A few years back I send George Bush (the geezer) some chocolate chip cookies. I'm a registered Republican but I'm not above voting for a Democratical personality. I need help deciding who the hell to cast my coveted vote for! To be frank, I have some doubts about George Bush (the youngster). He is extremely handsome and that goes a long way in my book. I'm not gay, I just love handsome men. A lot of people said he looked like a horse's ass when he dressed up like a "top gun" and landed on that ship. On the contrary, I wish he would wear MORE sharp looking uniforms and outfits! He would look good in a Navy outfit, or dressed as a cop, or all dressed in leather as a biker dude! And of course, he would look real swell dressed up as a cowboy (goes without saying). Again, Zip ain't gay...but clothes DO make the man! I have my "druthers" with Mr. Bush! He is TOO SOFT on terrorists. He has NOT caught "Osama Bin Forgoten" yet and to make matters WORSE he has not really gone after "homegrown" terrorists like Michael Jackson, Tommy Lee, and Courtney Love..these people are dangerous and need to be off the goddamned streets! The economy is still just pitiful! Bush has totally ignored the thousands of out of work carnies. I have been able to get by on my talent and good looks but my poor buddy Darrel the Dog Boy hasn't worked in over a year! So sad! All he does is sit around the house, watch Springer and gorge himself on Alpo (he's gained 75 pounds). Now John Kerry is also VERY handsome (he looks like Andrew Jackson on the $20). Plus, he likes to snowboard, something I've always wanted to do! I'll admit, if I can't figure out the comlicated issues I'll go for the most handsome, most talented guy. Hey, Clinton had me as soon as he started playing the saxophone on Arsenio (he had "sax appeal"). John Kerry has also done it with Morgan Fairchild. Holy Christ...that's a BIG plus! Some say he's "wishy washy" but I think that's a GOOD thing! If you don't like his opinion on something, he'll probably change his mind in a few months! Bush had his shot and blew it, so maybe we should give a Demmy a shot. I don't know! I'm confused but I'm going to do my damndest to vote this November,even if my buddy Scotty has to go with me and hold me up! ZiP |
| Posted By: Ralph Nader Posted On: Mar 26, 2004 Views: 291 | RE: I need help! Did the Dio/Rough camp throw you out, my good man?I've always fought for the little people, and I would love to have your support on election day! Don't worry Zip, it won't be a wasted vote, as some might have you believe. More importantly, am I not handsome?? |
| Posted By: Small Sven Posted On: Mar 31, 2004 Views: 249 | RE: I need help! I have it on good authority George Bush does not like little people! Perhaps someday there will be a Congressional investiagation into the despicable dwarf tossing that takes place every Thursday night in the Rose Garden. You didn't hear it from me but Condi Rice tosses a mean dwarf! Sven |
| Posted By: Doug Posted On: Apr 12, 2004 Views: 232 | Yes you do, Rough. Did you really think that post was funny? I think most people enjoy reading your looney left-wing opinions but this "ZIP" CRAP just plain SUCKS. Why do you keep doing this? |