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| Posted By: Wizard® Posted On: Nov 1, 2004 Views: 377 | I'm voting for Dubya! Yes, Ive decided to vote for George W. Bush to continue as President of the United States. This was not an easy decision either. It required me to overlook so much failure, ineptitude and deception that it is amazing his own Secret Service doesnt just box him up and ship him off to North Korea. Ive decided to overlook that Bush committed us to a war on false premises. Amusingly, he campaigns as being a wartime president and saying that we shouldnt change leadership now. How convenient that he is the only wartime president weve ever had who created his own war. In fact, I want to stay the course. I want four more years of the same. I want the policies of the last four years to ferment and lead us to even more isolation and ill will around the world. I want the national debt to snowball even more. Just as every credit card has its limit, I want to see what happens when our national debt reaches its limit. I am willing to let Bush and the rest of the neo cons run this country into ruin. I can think of no better way to destroy the neo con platform than to let them hang themselves. I see this as a sort of experiment. I want to see just how long people can go on playing dumb before they realize that they owe a part of this debt? As it currently stands, every man, woman and child owes $25,000 on the national debt. Just this past year alone, while the average person got a $300 tax cut, they also were handed a $1500 debt. If only I could go around giving people $3 and have them give me back $15! An amusing thing was a neo con spin-doctor said that deficit spending was a sign of a strong economy as an argument for the tax cuts. By this logic, reducing taxes down to just 1% should have created the greatest economy in the Universe. I stop short of saying that absolutely no taxes would work since this might create a division by zero somewhere in some equation. Still, we could always augment this 1% by giving a 40% tax rebate to the wealthiest 4%. There was a time when conservatives were stalwarts of fiscal responsibility. Sadly, they were co-opted by the neo cons who sold themselves out to big money industry in return for mandatory religion in school (Jeebus only!) and the right to have the same guns as those really cool Taliban people they see on Faux News. All the while, the Tax and Deficit Spend neo cons run around shouting Tax and Spend Liberals. Still, the neo cons can take patriotic pride in our national debt. After all, it is ours. Never mind the fact that foreign individuals and government hold about 40% of this debt, up from 15% a few decades ago. They still dont hold a majority interest, yet. As for me, I really dont care about this debt. The way I see it, at my age I doubt Ill live long enough to pay even half of my current share. And since I have no children, its not like Ill be passing my share off on them. Instead, I can live the rest of my life knowing that someone elses kid will get left holding the bag. Wouldnt it be funny if JSKs future child were the one who got stuck with my share of the national debt! That alone is worth the vote for Bush! Now, if Kerry is elected, I know what will happen. The first thing the neo cons will do is demand that he balance the budget. And the only way that they will let that happen is if taxes are raised (but not on the wealthy), so that they can again shout tax and spend. So Im voting for Bush so the scam of trickle-down economics can reach its disastrous conclusion. I could never understand why anyone would want to lap up the few drops that miss the urinal. There is also an advantage to voting for Bush. I can now join the neo cons and be smug while claiming to be a patriot and supporting our troops. I can join in the chorus of defeating terrorism by shopping at Walmart while sending young men to fight in Iraq. This works out in so many ways. First, we can prove that the missing explosives are not a problem as the liberal media tries to make it out to be. Our troops will find all of these high explosives, one bomb at a time. Besides, just how many bombs can anyone make with the 380 tons that are missing? We will see! Second, as we are often told, our soldiers tend to vote Republican by a vast majority. That means that as our troops are killed in Iraq there will be less votes for a Republican candidate in 2008. You really have to appreciate Bushs scheme to stick it to his own party. And third, each one of our soldiers who is killed just increases to the ratio of women to men back here. Wouldnt it be really sweet if it got to the point where polygamy was legalized due to shortages. Speaking of shortages, there is a good possibility that we may run out of soldiers to drive over the roadside bombs in Iraq. That means we may have to induct people into the military. Now Bush said he would not re-institute the draft, so I think he will give it some other label. At first I was thinking he might call it a refreshing breeze, but Im more apt to believe he will just wrap it into his no child left being policy. Either way, as we learned in the 1970s, nothing encourages young people to get involved and vote like an all expense paid chance to killed for no justifiable reason. I must confess that I am voting for Bush because he and the rest of the neo cons have taught me that I was wrong. You see, while I was opposed to the war in Viet Nam, I had always respected the decision of the troops who went there, whether they enlisted or were drafted. Thankfully, I have seen the error of my ways. I have learned from the way George W. Bush and the neo cons have dealt with John McCain, Max Cleland and John Kerry. I have come to understand that any soldier who goes to war and has the audacity to live is to be treated as suspect. Soldiers killed in action are heroes because they are golden political pawns since death has rendered them unlikely to speak out against any policy foisted upon the public in their memory. However, those who survive are more than likely to be cowards, if not traitors who aided the enemy and returned home to undermine the perfect wisdom of our Southern States while waiting for the day when they can overthrow the government and defecate on the Constitution. So I thank the President and the rest of the neo cons. I can now say that I support our troops, but when those treasonous wussies come home I can feel free to go all swift boat on them whenever it suits my purposes. Well, I have to get to work on preparing to cast my vote for George W. Bush. I doubt Ill be able to lower my IQ enough in the time I have left, but I can still take other steps to fit in. Which cheap after-shave do the neo cons douse themselves with? Aqua Velva or Old Spice? |
| Posted By: Wizard® Posted On: Nov 1, 2004 Views: 376 | Aw Geez.. JSK, now that I am joining you neo cons in supporting President Bush, I feel that I should advise you not to be too over-zealous in your attempts to curry the amorous eye of Viking. I realize that you were commenting on his use of emphasis of words by use of bold and size. Thankfully, you knew that you had only a 15% chance of spelling emphasis correctly and opted for a smaller word like fonts. However, in doing so you went too far and went for the plural of the word, thus implying that Viking had made use of multiple fonts like Arial, Brush Script MT or Times Roman. So Id like to offer you this simple tip: When you suck up to Viking and try to kiss his arse, always approach him from behind. Remember, if he has to move your head to pee, you are again on the wrong side. Now, go and wipe that Viking crème off your chin before anyone else notices. |
| Posted By: Wizard® Posted On: Nov 1, 2004 Views: 375 | Say... Why is it that Im not surprised that Alfonso was the one to notice where Teresa Heinz Kerry was born? At first I was not sure just what relevance it made, but now that Ive decided to vote for President Bush I can see that Alfonso was warning us that she might be part Negro! Yes, Alfonso was using neo con code to say that things may not be all white with Teresa. To that I say Bravo! and Mission Accomplished! We must think of the message it would send to our children if she were to be the First Lady. After all, the only place the darkies have in the Presidents Bedroom is changing the sheets, not sleeping under them. |
| Posted By: Rough Posted On: Nov 1, 2004 Views: 365 | YES! Vote for BUSH! Do it for the sake of COMEDY! If nothing else, Dubya is great comic relief. The quality of "The Daily Show" will simply plummet without cornfed imbecile Bushie to trowel out a few barely literate diatribes every couple of days. I mean come on, what will Bill Maher have to rant about on his HBO show if that talking chimp Bush goes back to the land of steers and queers? So what if Bushie caters shamelessly and unapologetically to the the super rich, big business and companies that outsource jobs. So what if he's the first President since Hoover to have a net loss of jobs. So what if he started a war under false pretenses and, in the process, alienated a good portion of the globe with his self righteous, "go it alone" attitude. So what if his Orwellian environmental policies are profoundly flawed, even hostile, and have set things back a good 30 years. So there's gross, even criminal, incompetence and absolutely NO accountabilty insofar as policies at home or abroad. Yeah, SO WHAT!! BUSH IS FUNNY, dammit! Kerry and Edwards are polished, refined, intelligent, and able to handle complex issues in a complicated, non linear world. They're just BORING, plain and simple! Kerry isn't even funny when he tries to be. With Bush, it comes.."naturally". With Dubya, you don't know what's going to come out of that crazy little Texan's mouth next! IT'S GUARANTEED COMIC GOLD, I'm telling ya, with VERY LITTLE EDITING NECESSARY!! I must be entertained for the next four years with SURE FIRE COMEDY and another hilariously inept Bush Administration is the only thing that will make this a certainty! DIO/ROUGH 2004 (It IS hard work!) |
| Posted By: atf Posted On: Nov 1, 2004 Views: 359 | RE: Thats great news waz... ...glad to hear you have no children. Perhaps your boyfriend does? Anyway, Heinz Kerry was born in Africa, making her a bonafide Afro American, I believe. ah, I SEE!!! If I, as a right wing American, mention a LOCATION thats racism; if you mention it, its because you are `sensitive` to the, ah, persons race. Gotcha. Incidentally, the past 30 years have seen over 40 million abortions, about 85% performed on women who are `liberal`. Now you can see why Im pro abortion. Bye bye dickwads.... You guys are easy. Now go out and vote for Bush. People in America like a winner. atf |
| Posted By: JSK Posted On: Nov 1, 2004 Views: 357 | RE: register first HEY WIZ Why don't you just vote for Nadar you foul moron. You must have spent half the day searching the internet getting your democratic figures and one sided view of your world. Are you saying your voting for Bush and asking God to have mercy on your soul? Now you'll also be blamed for voting him in if he wins .... its not just the Fonz and I. Like your vote really matters? Like mine does either? Plain and simple. Kerry is a no doer. All he seems to do during the debates and in his God awful speeches is down a leader. Its quite easy to say you can do better and will do better. But, when you have a record for doing nothing and voting against most of that you say you'll preserve its a no brainer your only trying to score brownie points. For example and to keep it easy- Kerry couldn't pronounce any of the Red Sox players names in the summer. He never uttered their names or team up until they played in the world series. Now he's wearing a hat along with his faggy coat. He shows he has drank two nights straight also!!! And likes to hunt even though he votes against gun laws and has ever since he's been in office. He has a record of voting against pleanty of things in the past 20 years that would have been good for not only my state, but for the country. I think he just does it to be an ass and he calls Dubya stubborn? John Kerry= taxes. He likes rich women and when the going gets tough he runs. He is a yes man and always has been. I could go on about his real figures and numbers, but unlike you I won't bore the class. Go look at his political record on mass.org or for real laughs go check out his site and see how many promises he will break. Let me tell ya his history in the senate doesn't show he's always been so nice to the middle class even though he says he has been. Now onto Iraq. We would have invaded or gone to war with them at one time or another. I'd rather have it happen now than later. Its not an easy task and it shows, but this are getting done there. You watch too much television and read too much dem writtings. Most people get wasted in California each and every day. Schools, hospitals and all sorts of good is happening in Iraq. Every day more good is happening than bad ****. Its worth it as long as the elections are held when they are suppose to be and our occupation will end when the president says it should. Not when he thinks it should just to get more votes or even do so premiturly like Lurch is going to. Besides I'm sure Bush would have loved to say by next summer, but doesn't want to jump the gun like Kerry already has. Plain and simply no matter whos in our men and women will come home the same time anyways. Jerry H we all know Kerry hates war and yet hides behind it when the heat it turned up. I'm not proud to be in Nam ... now I am, now I'm not. The man's worse than Ross Porot and even uglier. Sure, I'm sick of seeing our people and others getting killed over there, but its for a damn good reason. We needed to occupy the middle east especially a country like Iraq and a leader like Saddam needed to be dropped from power. Even Lurch admitted that. Lurch claims he could have reasoned with a man like Saddam who never listened to anyone in the past 30 years and would kill those (including his own) who opposed him. But, it sounded good to tell the American public so why not pull it from your arse and use that in his debates. Again, John voted for war and then was against it. Then he voted to take money from our defenses which our troops needed. Then says the president doesn't equip our troops enough and has a ****ty plan. I could tell people that and they would believe me too! And as for North Korea and Iran now in the nuke arms race? Thank the UN. You know the ones that keep saying go by our rules or else! Or else what? Doesn't look like NK or Iran listened to the friggin UN. I'm glad Bush had the nuts to say go screw aswell. Ofcourse Kerry says he would have listened, but again he's not in office so its quite easy to say something you didn't have to do. Now we see half the countries that were "against" us going into Iraq were shacking up with Saddam. But, Kerry doesn't care. Instead he'll sacrifice our security to get their permission slips to do anything. John just can't do anything unless he makes someone happy. Then when someone says they don't like what he's doing he will change his mind. He has a long history of this with his drinking buddy Teddy Kennedy. Oh why bother talking to you any ways. Your voting Bush and thats all that matters. But I really could care less what you do. JSK |
| Posted By: legion Posted On: Nov 2, 2004 Views: 328 | RE: I'm voting for Dubya! Funny essay wizard. Shame those southern states are all fundy inbred retards who vote for Bush for the same reasons they send money to Pat Robertson. send in the clowns! |
| Posted By: atf Posted On: Nov 2, 2004 Views: 320 | RE: I'm voting for Dubya! Yeah, twas a real knee slapper, Linus. Well, perhaps his bf Bruce dug it. Oops, now Im a being a reactionary homophobe! Should I be concerned? I think not. Anyway... .... it is good to know you guys will be screaming `foul` for the next four years; can we expect more, er, `humourous` treatises, hmmm???? atf, voting for winners |