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Posted By: Bridget

Posted On: Apr 20, 2004
Views: 1737
......

I am a cutter, have been for... 4 years now. I calmed down a lot in the past year, but about seven months ago, I got a new boyfriend. It was great you know. But I couldn't help the feeling that overcame me. my mind controls a lot of what I think about, but most of the time, I have random thoughts about self harming myself, or suicide, or any type of hurtful thing to myself... I started again cutting about 2 months into our relationship, and the last time was about 5 or 6 days ago. BUt afterwards I realized how stupid I was. I just felt so alone, but if I would show that to anyone, I was to afraid of what they might have said.. and I can't take criticism, or anyone yelling, sometimes even talking to me. I get scared and turn red. and I really don't want to hurt any of the people who care about me by doing this anymore. one of my closest friends helped my fnd this site because she really wants me to stop, and I can't blame her....


Posted By: Becca

Posted On: Mar 25, 2004
Views: 1739
I NEED HELP

I used to cut my self but now i have stopped it took a long time but i feel good. i still think about it all the time, but the thing is one of my mates who i care so much about cuts her self. she has cut different boys names al over her body legs, arms, tummy, ankel and even her back but now she has run out of space! she has realy deep cuts on her arms and it scares me just looking at them and feeling my arm nowin i cud do it all over again and get the good feeling back that i used to get after doing it. I NEED HELP on what to do about my friend i counted 19 DIFFERENT boys names on her body


Posted By: helen

Posted On: Feb 22, 2004
Views: 1745
Why should they care

My mother found out I was self harming a few months back. She just told me to stop being stupid and shouted at me for it. I've told close friends but they got worried so I just told them id stopped to put them at ease. I want to get help so badly but they keep telling me not to get anyone involved. They probably just think i'll get over it on my own but i dont know how to deal with my problems. I used to tell my mum if i was feeling down but she just gets mad and tells me that there are people worse off. I know thats true but its really no comfort.


Posted By: stuart

Posted On: Oct 31, 2003
Views: 1815
did it again

i first cut when i was about 16. i'm 27 and i just did it again. why? i don't feel any better now. guys aren't supposed to do this. i have tried to stop and managed for a while but tonight, i just felt too bad and i wanted the pain, i wanted to see some blood. my body is hurting but at least i'm not crying anymore. there's no point to my message, just words, graffiti without a spray can.


Posted By: rebeca

Posted On: Oct 10, 2003
Views: 1817
dont know what to do

i am a self harmer. i do lots of different thing to hurt myself, i dont know why i do them. i am afraid of telling anyone. i am really more ashamed. i have kinda tried to tell my dad but he just avoided it and didnt really understand what i was trying to tell him. i dont know what to do, i dont want to feel the pain anymore. i want to stop and be happy. sometimes i just want to die, it hurts so bad i cant take it anymore.


Posted By: gothicrosefaery

Posted On: Aug 1, 2003
Views: 1902
peoples opinions

who finds that those that don't know what and why one does it just call you stupid and destructive, and just make it worse?

And then you get those that dish out the sympathy without realising that you do it becuase you WANT to...

And then there are the sensitive ones that cry FOR you as though you dont do enough crying already...

Thats why i dont talk to people...


Posted By: pixie

Posted On: Jun 4, 2003
Views: 1848
ugh

my mom is trying to "help" but i think she's doing mor harm than good. the thing is i can't get her to quit it.


Posted By: Heather

Posted On: Apr 8, 2003
Views: 1845
No one cares

I have tried to reach out but everyone just ignors me. I dont see a point any more to even care about anything. I have started to let my grades slide, who cares. I dont care about no one anymore, there is no point in that. All my friends have probably declaired me a b | + C /-\. They talk about how stupid and retarted I am behind my back then they say: everyone does it, it's just the way it is. Well, maybe if I do something I can just get out of here and then they can just be happy.


Posted By: Zeches

Posted On: Mar 14, 2003
Views: 1848
....

I have a friend who has been cutting for years, longer than i've known her which is 5 yrs. i picked up cutting from her. she just found out that i have been cutting as well. i doubt she likes the idea of me cutting as well. when people ask about my cuts i just tell them a lie. no one knows that i cut but my friend and the people at this site. i have tried to kill my self a few times. always failed. but maybe i have failed because i havent tryed hard enough, got to look into that. I know someone who is planning on killing them selves this weekend. he wants me and my other friend to call him names like chicken **** until he does. my friend is all for it, i think she'd love to see if he killed himself. me on the other hand...i keep trying to give him reasons not to. maybe i should just tell him to ****ing kill himself. but....


Posted By: johnboy

Posted On: Nov 7, 2002
Views: 1860
sadness

i found this site today as an attempt to find solace from all that is going on in my head. I have been cutting for nearly 15 years now. sometimes are better for stretches of time but the urge always returns. i was in crisis yesterdayand went to the hospital, i was pretty badly sliced up i use to use the same knife but it just wouldn't do the trick anymore so i've moved on to exacto blades and razors. anyway the gp at the hospital told me there was nothing more that they could do for me. i have been admitted there several times in the past few years and as i live in a small town i have exhausted all the available resources to me. so i sit here typing hoping to find and answer to a question that i never have understood. i've read the books, taken the programs and the pills, i've called the phone lines and it all comes back to one point : i don't want to die, i just don't want to live like this. i find dtength in knowing i am not alone and the few friends that i haven't pushed away are still here for me but they grow tired of the cutting just as i do. it's hard to hold on when the only thing that gives you comfort is the same thing that is destroying you. sorry if i ramble i just needed to get it out i guess.


Posted By: hidden

Posted On: Nov 4, 2002
Views: 1860
no one cares

i've been cutting myself for well over a yesr now!no-one cares!i see a pysciatrist and she wants me sectiond!!!my dad has nothing to say about it and when ever he has an argument with me he tells me to ever kill myself or he will kill himself!!!i don't see my mum i told her and she broke down!telling me not to do it any more!my ex found out and dumped me said i was an embarrsement to the world!you see?what have i got to live for?i don't care about life and life don't care about me!and it is for this reason i have my nives taken?it's un fair hard to stop it!


Posted By: Cat

Posted On: Sep 12, 2002
Views: 1861
hmmm

well. i have been doing it for 3 years and i haven't done it for 2 weeks. it gets harder everyday but i'll do it. my mum found out 2 years ago but it is never mentioned, i did mention it once but she acted like she never even knew and passed it off as a joke. it has been my boyfriend and best friends who have kept me alive for so long. if it wasn't for them i'd be dead. i need them so much. it's now that i need them more than ever because if i start again i don't think i'd be able to stop. sometimes i can't even think of a reason to stop. it's not 'killing me' so whats the point in stopping when it makes me feel better? but it will get better, i know it has to.


Posted By: Megan

Posted On: Jul 7, 2002
Views: 1850
hypocrite i suppose

Whats odd is that when one of my friends told me that they had done that one night, I freaked out. I mean, I have been doing this for years, but when I hear about other people doing it, I can't stand it. I didn't want to see her hurting.. I was scared, worried, but of course I was supportive. I mean, I do it. I suppose this means I am a hypocrite because I don't do well with the fact that other people do it.. It hurts me to see them in such a predicament. My mom gets this angry thing going on, but we can't forget that anger is a secondary emotion. Hurt is normally what it is covering..


Posted By: Me

Posted On: Jun 6, 2002
Views: 1843
Stop

Reading these comments makes me understand that there is a choice. Some comments stated that nobody seems to care. You have to imagine your in their shoes. They don't understand. What would you say to someone if they came up and told you, i honestly wouldn't know what to say and i do this myself. Untimately this is our choice. We do it, we have the pain, and we live with the consequences. No one else can make you stop.
Im trying to stop. Its very hard but im sick of the pain once it stops feeling good. All i can suggest is that you guys try. But don't do it for others, do it for yourself. so that you don't have to hide under layers of clothing, don't have to lie about how we got these marks and don't have to feel the pain. If someone else did this to us we would be extremely angry so why should we be allowed to do it to ourselves.


Posted By: stuart

Posted On: May 16, 2002
Views: 1822
now

i've only hurt myself once in the last 6 or 7 years. didn't even use the knife last time. never want to do it again. enough scars thank you. maybe life won't get much better but i know i don't deserve to be in pain. the only people who are happy with themselves are those who are blind to themselves. watch the sunrise tomorrow and laugh at the madness of it all.


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My Friend - My Enemy