Jaw-dropping man-ape gone out to lunch...

Pick the 3 most (in)appropriate captions!

Simon (to Kaylee): "You're WHAT?!!!"
SIMON: Jayne, I really don't want to know how you got that up there. River, can you hand me the forceps?
Ok, now everybody touch your ears. Gotcha! I didn't say "Simon Says."
"The Babel Fish is small,yellow,leech-like and enables me to understand every language in the universe----all except for this Fox exec!!!!!
Kaylee showed the good Doctor that, indeed, the male brain can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds, given adequate, erm, 'vacuuming systems.'
KAYLEE (OS): Highly skilled surgeon who can't follow instructions for a simple universal salute? I'm beginning to have my doubts.
Among Simon's many near miraculous talents for alienating folks, showing his ear wax to a girl ranked pretty high.
Simon: "The hammer is your WHAT?"
Simon: You use a post holer for what now, Kaylee?
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