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| Posted By: GirlUWant Posted On: Jan 28, 2005 Views: 519 | RE: Make your opinion known about... Maybe you should post more often because I don't even remember you! |
| Posted By: Klimpy Posted On: Jan 28, 2005 Views: 512 | RE: Make your opinion known about... I've only been reading these polls for the past few weeks. I usually don't feel the need to post things myself since GirlUwant, Bob Dole, Dragonmaster and others are so entertaining. Since Todd hasn't posted a new poll, things have gotten pretty dull around here. Dragonmaster: Say something really profound. Bob Dole: Insult dragonmaster (but don't encourage suicide) |
| Posted By: suds Posted On: Jan 28, 2005 Views: 506 | RE: Make your opinion known about... 53) He didn't vote |
| Posted By: Anon Posted On: Jan 28, 2005 Views: 501 | RE: Make your opinion known about... 54) Caffeine makes him poop lots |
| Posted By: Dragonmaster Posted On: Jan 29, 2005 Views: 495 | RE: Make your opinion known about... Ok Klimpy, here you are. ahem What is the truest definition of Globalization? Princess Diana's death. Why? An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines!And this is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gates' technology which he enjoyed stealing from the Japanese. And you are probably reading this on one of the IBM clones that use Taiwanese-made chips, and Korean-made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, trucked by Mexican illegal aliens, and finally sold to you. lol, even spellchecked. |
| Posted By: Dragonmaster (now with spellcheck) Posted On: Jan 29, 2005 Views: 494 | RE: Make your opinion known about... Why Men Are Happier Than Women! (jokes included, so please don't get ****y) 1. We keep our last name. 2. The garage is all ours. 3. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 4. Chocolate is just another snack (not for me, normal?). 5. We can be president (ouch, sorry). 6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. 7. Car mechanics tell us the truth. 8. The world is our urinal. 9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too "icky". 10. Same work, more pay, and don't have to sleep with boss. 11. Wrinkles add character. 12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100. 13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them. 14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet. 16. One mood, ALL the time. 17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 18. We know stuff about tanks. 19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 20. We can open all our own jars. 21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend. 23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. 24. Everything on our face stays its original color. 25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 27. We "almost" never have strap problems in public 28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes. 29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades. 30. We don't have to shave below our neck, although sometimes..... 31. Our belly usually hides our big hips. 32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. 33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife. 34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. 35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes. |
| Posted By: Dragonmaster Posted On: Jan 29, 2005 Views: 491 | RE: Make your opinion known about... A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," the man replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say. "Tell him," she whispers, "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room. |
| Posted By: Dragonmaster Posted On: Jan 29, 2005 Views: 490 | RE: Make your opinion known about... An 85 year old man visits his doctor to get a sperm count. The geezer's given a jar and told to bring back a sample. The next day he returns to the doctor with an empty jar. "What happened?" says the doctor. "Well," the old man starts, "I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left -- nothing. Then she tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called Evelyn, the lady next door, but still nothing." The doctor bursts out, "You asked your neighbor?" "Yep, No matter what we tried we couldn't get that damn jar open." |
| Posted By: Dragonmaster Posted On: Jan 29, 2005 Views: 490 | Some changes to this one. It is the year 2032, and a father and his son walk the streets of lower Manhattan. Approaching the site where the WTC used to be in the end of the 20th century, the father sighs and comments, "to think that right here used to be the Twin Towers..." The son, not understanding, asks his father "What are the Twin Towers?" The father smiles and looks at the son, and explains, "The Twin Towers were two huge buildings that used to be here until 2001, when Terrorists destroyed them." The son looks up to his father, and asks, "And what are Terrorists? (I don't like Bush, or his tactics, but at least if what he does works (big iffy) then our kids won't have to deal with what we do. ) |
| Posted By: Dragonmaster Posted On: Jan 29, 2005 Views: 490 | last one, ok? TOP 10 THINGS MEN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP AND HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY: 10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand mirror for an hour and a half. 8. See if they could finally do a split. 7. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch. 6. Get picked up in a bar in less that 10 minutes 5. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first. 4. Go to the gyno and ask to have the examination recorded on video. 3. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too. 2. Actually catch a buzz off 1 wine cooler. And the # 1 thing a man would do is: 1. Finally find that damn G-spot. TOP 10 THINGS WOMAN WOULD DO IF THEY WOKE UP AND HAD A PENIS FOR A DAY: 10. Get ahead faster in corporate America. 9. Get a blow job. 8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating meat. 7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at the urinal. 6. Determine why you can't hit the bowl consistently. 5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm. 4. Touch/Shift yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may be to others. 3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks. 2. Understand the reason for the light refraction that occurs between man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member. And the # 1 thing a women would do is: 1. Repeat # 9. |
| Posted By: boris Posted On: Jan 29, 2005 Views: 485 | RE: Make your opinion known about... Dude, copying and pasting stuff from the web is not spellchecking. |
| Posted By: Mr Cranky Posted On: Jan 29, 2005 Views: 482 | RE: Make your opinion known about... 55) He thinks that doing a copy/paste several times of stupid **** he finds on the internet is funny. |
| Posted By: Joe Posted On: Jan 29, 2005 Views: 480 | RE: Make your opinion known about... I think you posted that Twin Towers joke before, except that you didn't write "Terrorists", you wrote "Arabs". For a liberal you're pretty racist. |
| Posted By: Dragonmaster Posted On: Jan 29, 2005 Views: 475 | RE: Make your opinion known about... Did I say they were mine? I do use a spellcheck now, would you like me to stop using it? Then stop your bitching already. These were from the Ebaumsworld.com website, who's content most people find funny. I unwrote the "arabs" out of that one. Just so I don't sound racist. I missed it the last time. |
| Posted By: Dragonmaster Posted On: Jan 29, 2005 Views: 529 | RE: Make your opinion known about... I finaly found a trenchcoat. It's a "Tripp" brand to. Sweet, and now that I've droped a few pounds I can wear it to. |
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